Consulting Jokes / Recent Jokes
Teacher To get to the other side.
Plato For the greater good.
Aristotle It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Karl Marx It was a historical inevitability.
Timothy Leary Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
Saddam Hussein This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronald Reagan I forget.
Captain James T. Kirk To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Andersen Consulting Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening it's dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the
newly competitive market. Anderson Consulting, in a partnering relationship with
the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution strategy
and implementation process. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Anderson
helped the more...
*** You just can't win, and here are the reasons why: ***
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't more...
*** You just can't win, and here are the reasons why: ***If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, more...
Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good of man. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: I forget. CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using more...
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answers:
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken' crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the more...