Corporal Jokes

Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far eastern country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family.
Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to recieve 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn't want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled.
Mrs. Mueller is first. "What do you wish for yourself?"
"I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings."
"Okay, that shall be granted to you."
Mrs. Mueller has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows.
Next it is Mueller's mother-in-law's more...

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have
change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's
corridor floors, and asked him,
"Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Private Duncan replied, "Sure."
The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a
superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have
change for a dollar?"
Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't havechange for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base'scorridor floors, and asked him,"Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "Sure." The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address asuperior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you havechange for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't havechange for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base'scorridor floors, and asked him,"Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"Private Duncan replied, "Sure."The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address asuperior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you havechange for a dollar?"Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander
was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically
performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them
that Her Majesty's Army had committed to reward each of the three
soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different
parts of the man's body.
The commander addressed the first soldier, "Where would you like
to be measured, Sergeant?" "From the tip of me head to the soles
of me feet, Sir!" he replied. "Very good!," the commander said,
and the sergeant was measured at 6'5." He was paid the handsome
sum of 7000 pounds.
The second soldier was asked, "What about you, Corporal?" "Between
the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!" the corporal
said. "Very good!" replied the commander. The corporal, a man of
considerable wingspan, was rewarded 8000 more...