Court Room Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Federal judge ruled that the government discriminates against blind people by printing money that all feels the same and ordered the U.S. Treasury to design bills that could be distinguished by feel.


Next week the judge is expected to rule on the landmark Stevie Wonder v. Playboy case.

Merck, the drug company that made Vioxx, is getting a new trial. A judge ruled that the $50 million awarded to a man who had a heart attack after taking Vioxx was "grossly excessive."
Merck's former CEO, Ray Gilmartin, who made $37 million plus stock options in that same year, agreed with the verdict, saying, "The guy who suffered a heart attack shouldn't make more than the guy who caused it."

A woman convicted of hiring her lover to kill her husband is submissive and easily manipulated and has a disorder that could lead her to act against her own best judgment, a psychologist testified. Plus she's bat sh*t crazy.

...The Snapple Company, after a lawsuit challenging the ingredient content of its popular drink, is changing its advertising slogan to "Snapple: Made From The Best Crap On Earth."

A homeless man pleaded guilty to attacking a $3.4 million Joshua Reynolds painting with a hammer in London's National Portrait Gallery.

If convicted, the man will be sentenced to remain homeless.

Citing the above study - "Marijuana smoking by pregnant mothers stunts growth of baby"
Verne Troyer sued his mother's marijuana grower.
The judge threw it into small claims court.

A man in Wisconsin was accused of faking heart attacks to avoid paying bills in restaurants and cabs.
His lawyer will defend him by siting precedent with the case of the People vs Fred Sanford.