Crabs Jokes / Recent Jokes

An 85 year old virgin was suddenly bothered by an itch in her crotch, so she went to the doctor. After examining her, the doctor told her she had crabs. She explained that wasn't possible because she was a virgin, but the doctor didn't believe her, so she decided to get a second opinion.
After the second doctor examined her, he gave her the same answer. Frustrated, she went to a third doctor and said, "Please help me. This itching is driving me nuts and I know I don't have crabs because I'm a virgin!"
The doctor examined her and said, "Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, you do not have crabs. The bad news is that your cherry has rotted and you have fruit flies."

There is an 80 year old virgin who suddenly gets an itch in her crotch area. She goes to the doctor who checks her out and tells her she has crabs. She explained that she couldn't have crabs because she was a virgin, but the doctor didn't believe her, so she went to get a second opinion.
The second doctor gave her the same answer. So she went to a third doctor and said "Please help me. This itch is killing me and I know that I don't have crabs because I'm a virgin".
The doctor checks her out and says "I have good news and bad news. The good news is you don't have crabs, the bad news is that your cherry rotted and you have fruit flies."

Simon the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Simon in tears.
"We can't see each other any more..." she sobbed.
"Why?" gasped Simon.
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the lowest class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."
Simon was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.
That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Simon the crab strode in.
The lobsters all stopped their more...