Curl Jokes / Recent Jokes
These two fleas are sitting in Florida. One is shivering like crazy, saying "that has got to be the coldest ride I have ever had in my life!"
"How did you get here?" asks the other flea.
"I was in the moustache of some guy riding his motorcycle down the freeway."
"That is no way to travel to Florida" says the flea."Here is what you do. Go to the airport and find a lounge. Have a sip of someone's drink so you are relaxed. Find a really pretty girl and crawl up her leg and under her dress.G o inside her panties and you will find a nice warm place to curl up and fall asleep. The next thing you know, you are in Florida! Remember that for next time.We will get together next year and you can tell me how it went!"
The following year, the two fleas are back in Florida and the first
one is shivering like crazy. "That is the coldest f*%#in' ride to
Florida I have had in my life!!!"
"What happened to the more...
A guy in the navy is out on leave. He realizes that he has an hour left. He really wants to get a piece of ass before he goes back, so he runs to the nearest whore-house and procures himself a hooker. He goes up into her room and doesn't mess around, pulling his pants down and jumping on for the ride.
He starts humping her and he notices that every time he humps, her toes curl up! He figures he must be pretty good in the sack if can get a hooker's toes to curl.
He comes back the next day and asks for the same hooker. He goes a little bit earlier so he can talk to her and take his time. He goes up to the room and they both undress. Before getting in bed, the sailor says: "I got the impression that you were impressed with my love-making yesterday."
The hooker replies: "Oh? Why's that?" He says,"I noticed every time I humped you, your toes would curl up!" The Hooker says: "For your information, sailor-boy, that's what happens when you don't more...
Compiled by Harold Reynolds and updated on December 6, 1994
1. Introduction
The following is a manual of guidelines for the busy cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, as those humans are always up to some sort of mischief, but the compiler and contributors to this guide have endeavoured to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage.
2. Food
In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. The following are some guidelines for getting fed.
a) When the humans are eating, make sure more...
Question: Why do Aussie Rednecks curl their cowboy hats up at the sides?
Answer: So the can fit 3 abreast in a pickup.