Custer Jokes / Recent Jokes
The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts.
Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating.
After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be.
The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking, 'Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"
The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts.Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating.After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be.The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking, 'Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"
The following are supposedly true headlines that have appeared in papers during the war.Some Leading Papers' Coverage of Custer's MassacreVariety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"Pravda: "Big Red Victory."Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series"Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback"Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff"The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"
Another Jack Whitman joke:
80 years after Little Big Horn, an East Coast journalist began research
on George Armstrong Custer. A friend told him that an Indian that lived
through that experience was still living and furthermore remembered EVERY
event of his long life. The journalist visited Chief Big Eagle, who now
lived in a small town in Pennsylvania. When he arrived and stated his purpose,
the Chief agreed to answer his questions.
"On what day of the week did the event take place? "
- "Wednesday"
"What was Custer wearing?"
- "Black uniform.. ceremony sword.. old hat"
"What did Custer eat for breakfast?"
- "Eggs"
The journalist was skeptical and figured anyone could make up these answers.
He left, and never published his article.
Ten years later, the journalist was by coincidence driving through the same
small town, and decided to see if the old Chief was still more...