Definition Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer? A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.
What is the definition of' making love'? Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her.
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
Because all those men already have boyfriends.
What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
$3. 99 a minute.
What is the definition of “making love”?
Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift?
Exchange him.
Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have enough time.
What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
About forty-five minutes.
How many men does it take to shingle a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
Why did God create men?
Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.
What do you do if more...
Q: What is the definition of an accountant?
A: Someone who solves a problem, you didn`t know you had, in a way you don`t understand.
Q: What does an accountant do for birth control?
A. He talks about his business.
Q: What is an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he`s talking to you instead of his own.
Q: What is an insolvency practitioner?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
There are just three types of accountants:
Those who can count and those who can`t.
Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file and that`s what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don`t?
A: Depreciation.
Q: What is the difference more...
A Koala walks into a bar.
A hooker comes up to the Koala and says, "hey hairy, want a date?"
The Koala says sure, and they sit in a booth in the corner.
The hooker and the Koala start to get-it-on and end up with the Koala performing oral sex on the hooker.
Afterwards the hooker tries to get her money, but the Koala refuses.
"Hey," says the hooker, "don't you know the definition of a hooker?"
And the Koala says, "No, sorry, I don't."
And the hooker says, "it's someone who has sex for money."
And the Koala says, "Well I guess you don't know the definition of a Koala."
"What's that?" asks the hooker.
"An animal that eats bushes and leaves."
THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 vodka
35 scotch
48 double scotch
66 Mylanta
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.
48 My wife is away for the weekend.
66 My wife is dead.
AGE FAVORITE SPORT
17 sex
25 sex
35 sex
48 channel surfing
66 napping
AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "tongue"
25 "breakfast"
35 "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66 "Got home alive."
AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY
17 a winning goal after the siren
25 sex in an aeroplane
35 menage a trois
48 taking over the company
66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 25
25 35
35 48
48 66
66 17
AGE IDEAL DATE
17 more...
Whats the definition of love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling.