Demons Jokes / Recent Jokes
A vampire joke
What happened to the mad vampire?
He went a little batty!
A demon joke
What is the best way to get rid of a demon?
Exorcise a lot!
A ghost joke
What kind of jewels to ghosts wear?
Tombstones!
A demon joke
Why do demons and ghouls get on so well?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
A vampire joke
Where do vampires go on holiday?
The Isle of Fright!
A vampire joke
What’s a vampire’s favourite soup?
Sharks’ fang soup!
A vampire joke
Which vampire ate the three bears porridge?
Ghouldilocks!
How To Be A Cultist:
Recently, the Society For Evil Overlords has noticed a regrettable
decline in the availability and quality of fanatical henchmen, evil
priests, and willing sacrificial victims. We wish to correct this
growing problem by submitting the following general guidelines for
Cultists.
1. Pick one faith and stay with it. Dilettantism is the mark of
the amateur.
2. Avoid needless embarrassment. Practice the correct
pronunciation of your deity+s name in the privacy of your own room
before chanting it in public. Flash cards are often helpful.
3. Never invoke anything bigger than your head.
4. Avoid all cabalistic jewelry over ten pounds in weight+ it
attracts unwelcome attention from tourists, policemen, various
supernatural creatures, and can be downright dangerous during
thunderstorms.
5. Citronella candles may not be used in rituals. I cannot stress
this more...
A writer died and St. Peter offered him the option of going to hell or to heaven. To help decide, he asked for a tour of each destination. St. Peter agreed and decided to take him to hell first. As he descended into the fiery pits, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes by demons. "Oh, my," the writer said, "let me see heaven."
A few moments later, as they ascended into heaven, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes by demons. "Hey," the writer said, "this is just as bad as hell."
"Oh, no it's not," St Peter replied, "here your work gets published!"