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Two strangers are sitting beside each other on an airplane. One guy turns to the other and says, "Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, removes his glasses and asks, "What would you like to discuss?"
The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know, how about Nuclear Power?"
The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some pretty interesting conversation. But let me ask you a question first: A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff. However, the deer excretes pellets; the cow, big patties; and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?"
The first guy says, "I don't know."
The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know shit?"

Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane when the first guy turned to the second and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The second guy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, took off his glasses and said to the first guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the first guy. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said the second guy. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the first guy. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said the second guy, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss more...

Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane when the guy turned to the beautiful blond bimbo and made his move by saying, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly, and said to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the player. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
Oh brother," said the guy. "I have no idea."
Well, then," said the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know more...

A Clarification - To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.
A Conference - A place where conversation is substituted for the dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thought.
A Meeting - A mass mulling by master minds.
A Program - Any assignment that can''t be completed by one telephone call.
Action is being taken - Your correspondence is lost and we are still trying to locate it.
Action please - Get yourself involved for me. Don''t worry, I''ll claim the credit.
Basic agreement has been reached: The @##$%%''s won''t even talk to us.
Channels - be trail left by the interoffice memo.
Consultant (or Expert) - Any ordinary guy more than 50 miles from home.
Coordinator - me guy who has a desk between two expeditors.
Copy to - Here''s a share of the headache.
Essentially complete: It''s half done.
Expedite - To confound confusion with commotion
For your approval, please - Put your more...

Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough more...

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane. He turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about Nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't Know about shit?"

1. When I forget to go to the grocery store, I will not boil the macaroni necklaces my children made for me in preschool.

2. When I hear one of my children wake in the middle of the night, I will run upstairs to supervise before he relieves himself in the sink and then creeps into the bathtub to return to sleep.3. I will pack the kids' lunch boxes the night before so I don't throw in a slab of frozen lasagna as they're running for the bus. "It'll defrost by lunch. If not, you can suck it like an ice pop."

4. I will resist the urge to explain to strangers why my son is wearing winter boots, a bathing suit bottom, and an inside-out and backward pajama top. I will be grateful that he is able to dress himself.5. I will not tell my children that the Play-Doh dried up just because I don't feel like cleaning up after they use it, even though I know it means I'll spend the evening harvesting the colored stuff from the carpet fibers, chair cushions and the dog's more...