Disneyland Jokes / Recent Jokes

once there were two blondes in a car, and they were going to disneyland.
when they were close, they came to a sign that said:
disneyland left
so they went home.

Once three blondes were going to Disneyland. The driver who was really dumb saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" so they turned around and went home!

Lock Yourself And Your Family In Your House For 6 Weeks. Then Tell Them That At The End Of The 6th Week You're Going To Take Them To Disneyland For "Weekend Liberty." When The End Of The 6th Week Rolls Around, Inform Them That Disneyland Has Been Canceled Due To The Fact That They Need To Get Ready For Engineering-Certification, And That It Will Be Another Week Before They Can Leave The House.

In Your Grim, Gray Dumpster (Refer To #1), With 200 Of Your Not-So-Closest Friend (Cite Para. 12) Regardless Of Gender, Make Sure To Stay Long Enough That Everyone Has Hot Flashes, Mood Swings And Pms!

Sleep On The Shelf In Your Closet. Replace The Closet Door With A Curtain. Have You Wife Whip Open The Curtain About 3 Hours After You Go To Sleep. She Should Then Shine A Flashlight In Your Eyes And Mumble "Sorry, Wrong Rack."

Renovate Your Bathroom. Build A Wall Across The Middle Of Your Bathtub, Move The Shower Head To Chest Level. When You more...

Disneyland was closed to the public Sunday night so Miley Cyrus and invited guests could enjoy the park's attractions. In related news, the Mustang Ranch will be shut down next Saturday for a birthday celebration for Charlie Sheen.

In Virginia a helicopter was cruising fast at tree top level when the engine quit, too low to auto-rotate, the helicopter plunged into a small lake where three boys happened to be fishing.
The boys who were at the lake saw the whole thing happen. They swam to the site of the crash, looked in the wreckage and saw that the pilot and copilot were both dead. The lone passenger was unconscious and barely alive. They pulled him out, took him to shore, and gave him artificial
respiration - saving his life.
Within a few minutes there were several helicopters circling the area and one of them landed. A guy got out who seemed to be in charge and came up to the boys, he congratulated them for saving President Clinton!
"Boys," said the man, " you just saved the leader of our country! You each deserve a reward. You name it, and I'll give it to you."
The first boy said, "I really want a pair of Nike Air Jordan's."
The man replied, "Michael more...