Donald Jokes / Recent Jokes

Overheard at a party: The bookmakers are taking bets on who Donald Trump will marry next (a serious remark). Odds are: Marla Maples 34 to 1, Elizabeth Taylor 5000 to 1, etc. etc., and Boy George 65000 to 1. Someone else who overheard suggested that The Donald would place a large bet on Boy George and marry him to collect.

Bay Area Native Quiz

Want to know if someone is a native of the San Francisco
Bay Area? Want to find out if you qualify yourself? Take
the following quiz and find out!

1) Complete the following phrase:

Dublin, Berkeley, San Lorenzo, Cupertino, __________

2) Name the five bridges that cross San Francisco Bay.
Extra credit: put them in order from north to south.
Extra extra credit: explain how to get across the
Golden Gate Bridge during rush
hour in less than an hour.

3) Complete the following phrase:
2400 Mission, top of the hill, __________

4) You're at a San Francisco Spiders hockey game at the Cow
Palace. (True: a team called' the Spiders' play at a
place called' the Cow Palace.' Go figure.) A woman comes
out to sing the Star Spangled Banner wearing a huge hat
with a model of the entire financial district, including
the TransAmerica building, on top of it. more...

Here's an original (to my best knowledge) by Donald Simmons that was
posted to a kind of strange thread on ncsu.general...
[Note - posted with Andy Simmons' permission. My thanks to him - ed.]
From: [email protected] (Donald Andrew Simmons)
Subject: Re: Yoda Grammar
In article ,
Ravi K. Swamy wrote:
>
>>Ever wonder if there are others of Yoda's race, and if they speak the
>>same way?
>
>Oh, the horror.
Imagine the yoda-men in the office, around the water cooler.
Yoda 1: Hello, Bill.
Yoda 2: Morning, Hank.
Yoda 1: Finish that proposal, you did?
Yoda 2: Yes, finally. Quite a chore, it was.
Yoda 1: That Henderson, he is a slave driver, eh?
Yoda 2: Yes. To kick his ass I'd like. "There is no try, only do."
Asshole he is.