Trump Jokes

If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she'd be Whoopi Cushing.
If Swoosie Kurtz married Patrick Swayze, she'd be Swoosie Swayze.
If Flip Wilson married Les Aucoin, he'd be Flip Aucoin.
If Barbara Hershey married John Candy, divorced him to marry Roseanne Barr, she'd be Barbara Hershey Candy Barr.
If Julie Emry married Jeff Gillooly, divorced him to marry Darlene Hooley, then divorced her to marry Wes Cooley, she'd be Julie Gillooly Hooley Cooley.
If Ivana Trump married Neil Diamond, divorced him to marry Jack Nicklaus, then divorced him to marry John Darling, she'd be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus Darling.
If Julie London married Beau Bridges, divorced him and married composer Manuel de Falla, then married Hugh Downs, she'd be Julie more...

My penis is so big, it fired Trump.

The president of the Miss Universe Organization said Miss USA Tara Conner will not be dethroned. They released a statement saying "The Organization and Mr. Donald J. Trump will be evaluating her behavioral and personal issues”...
And by “evaluating” Trump means, repeating the bathing suit portion of the contest. And by “personal”, he means; in his personal suite at The Trump Hotel.

Donald Trump, part owner of the Miss USA Pageant, has decided not to dethrone Miss USA Tara Conner for engaging in "inappropriate conduct" for a young woman.

Experts believe Trump's show of compassion came from his realization that, in order to avoid hypocrisy, he would also have to fire his 28-years-younger wife Melania for fucking a hideous old man for money.

From the March 1990 Playboy interview with Donald Trump: Playboy: How is your marriage? Trump: Just fine. Ivana is a very kind and good woman. I also think she has the instincts and drive of a good manager. She`s focused and she`s a perfectionist. Playboy: And as a wife, not a manager? Trump: I never comment on romance.... She`s a great mother, a good woman who does a good job. Playboy: What is marriage to you? Is it monogamous? Trump: I don`t have to answer that. I never speak about my wife--which is one of the advantages of not being a politician. My marriage is and should be a personal thing.