Donuts Jokes

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob? A: You know she'll swallow. Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq? A: They don't want to wear out the camel. Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry. Q: What do you get if you cross a Hell's Angel with a Jehovah's Witness? A: Some one who knocks on your door on a Sunday morning and tells YOU to fuck off! Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm? A: Because men fake foreplay. Q: What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick! Q: A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? A: Dating children. Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golfball? A: A guy will actually search for a golfball. Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? A: She knows she's given her last blow job. Q: Who is the more...

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed,
A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed,
But the one day he was talking to a recruiter,
Who said, "they pay big bucks if ya work on a computer..."
UNIX, that is... CRTs... Workstations...
Well, the first thing ya know ol' Jed's an Engineer.
The kinfolk said "Jed, move away from here".
They said "Arizona is the place ya oughta be",
So he bought some donuts and he moved to Ahwatukee...
Intel, that is... dry heat... no amusement parks...
On his first day at work, they stuck him in a cube.
Fed him more donuts and sat him at a tube.
They said "you project's late, but we know just what to do.
Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you 52!"
OT, that is... unpaid... mandatory...
The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad.
Schedules started slipping and some managers were mad.
They called another meeting and decided on a fix.
The more...

(Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hill Billies)
Come and listen to a story' bout a man named Jed,
A poor College kid barely kept his family fed,
But then one day he was talking to a recruiter,
He said "They'll pay ya big bucks if ya work on a computer",
VAX that is. .. CRT's... Workstations;
Well the first thing ya know ol' Jed's an Engineer,
The kinfolk said "Jed move away from here",
They said "Arizona is the place ya oughta be",
So he bought some donuts and moved to Ahwatukee,
Motorola that is... dry heat... no amusement parks;
On his first day at work they stuck him in a cube,
Fed him more donuts and sat him in a tube,
They said "Your project's late but we know just what to do,
Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you fifty-two!"
OT that is... Unpaid... Mandatory
The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad,
Someschedules slipped and some managers were more...

Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject turned to sex. "You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems", Linda told her friend. "That's amazing!" Mary replied, "So have Tom and I. We're thinking of going to a sex therapist", said Linda. "Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!", responded Mary. "But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?"
Several weeks passed, and the two friends met for lunch again. "So how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?", Mary asked. "Things couldn't be better!", Linda exclaimed. "We began with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his more...

Tim Horton's announced today that they are giving away free donuts to everyone who voted. I'm thinking of taking off work, running over to Tim Horton's across the street, and telling them that I was registered by ACORN - that way I can get enough donuts for everyone in my group!