Dracula Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross," says Sister more...
While driving through Transylvania, Sister Marie and Sister Kay stop for a red light. Out of nowhere, Dracula jumps onto the hood of their car and begins hissing through the windshield.
"Quick, Sister Marie," yells Sister Kay, "what are we going to do?"
"Turn the wipers on. That will rid us of the abomination," replies Sister Marie.
Sister Kay turns the wipes on, but Dracula hangs on and continues hissing at them. "Oh no, what are we going to do now?" she screams.
"Use the windshied washer. While we were at the Vatican, I filled it with Holy water," says Sister Marie.
Sister Kay uses the windshield washer, but although Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, he continues to hang on and hiss at them. "Now what?" screams Sister Kay.
"Show him your cross," Sister Marie says.
"Good thinking," says Sister Kay as she opens the window and yells "Get the fuck off our damn more...
Which flavor ice cream is Dracula's favorite? Vein-illa.
Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula
Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?
A: At a blood bank
Q: What does a baby bat say before going to bed?
A: Turn on the dark. I'm afraid of the light!
Q: What is Transylvania?
A: Dracula's terror-tory
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
A: By blood vessels.
Q: What's the part of a restaurant where vampires don't suck blood?
A: The non-Suckers section.
Q: Why doesn't anyone like Count Dracula?
A: He's a pain in the neck.
Q: What does Dracula say when introduced to someone?
A: "Hello, pleased to eat you!"
Q: What is Dracula's position in baseball?
A: Batboy
Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
A: The Vampire State Building.
Q: Why did Dracula go to jail?
A: Because he robbed the blood bank.
Q: What's a vampire's favorite feast?
A: Fangsgiving Day more...
For my Beloved Graduate Advisor (who just wont let me graduate): -)
Cheers!!
Dracula was killed one day & up he went to the Pearly Gates to meet God.
God refused to let Dracula in because of all the sins that he had done
going around sucking blood & killing.
"I'll give you a chance to redeem your sins", said God "I'll send
you back to earth, BUT not in a human form. You can only be re incarnated
into any other living things of your choice. So, what would you like
to be?"
Still unrepentant, Dracula said, "OK, I want to become a
LIVING THING WITH WINGS & SUCKS BLOOD, heh.. heh.. heh."
"So be it", said God and He turned Dracula into a VAMPIRE BAT.
So back to earth he went, flying around sucking the blood of animals
until one day when he got killed by a farmer. So up he went again to
meet God, feeling a little bit sheepish.
"I'll more...