Drawn Jokes

Guess the following movie quotes. All movies were released between the years 1980 and 1989. Comedies, dramas, action, etc. Some are quite simple, and others are more difficult.

There are 37 items, followed by the answers at the bottom, so you may wish to save reading this for a less hectic portion of your day.

1) Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

2) We're on a mission from God.

3) People on' ludes should not drive.

4) This house is clean.

5) Shall we play a game?

6) Terrific!! I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.

7) Back off man, I'm a scientist.

8) That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.

9) I know a little German. He's sitting over there.

10) Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.

11) Excuse me, Dick, I mean Rich, will milk be more...

A well known modern artist was commissioned to do his interpretation of Custer's Last Stand. After spending two years on the gigantic painting, a big ceremony was held for its unveiling.
The entire art community, the press and members of the government were all present, eagerly awaiting the moment when the curtain would be drawn, unveiling the painting. Finally, all the guests sat down and the sheet covering the canvas was drawn and a shocked silence filled the room.
In the center of the painting stood a large cow with a halo, surrounded by thousands of Indians, all engaged in various sorts of sex.
On one in the room new quite how to react when a reporter for the times stood up und addressed the artist, "Sir, could you please explain the imagery in this painting. I'm afraid I don't understand much about modern art."
"Sure thing," said the artist, "This painting represents my conception of what was going through General Custard's mind at the more...

Dennis sinned.

Dennis and Edna sinned.

Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen sinned.

Lonely Tylenol.

If I had a hi-fi.

Rise to vote, sir.

Bombard a drab mob.

Emit no tot on time.

O, stone, be not so.

Lager, sir, is regal.

No, it is opposition.

Pull up if I pull up.

Niagara, O roar again.

Yawn a more Roman way!

A car, a man, a maraca.

Rot can rob a born actor.

Sit on a potato pan, Otis!

Rats live on no evil star.

Ma is as selfless as I more...

On a sheet of paper, draw a picture of a pig.
Do your best.
Then scroll down and read the rest of this message.
Don't cheat, because if you do it won't work.
Draw the pig first and just follow the instructions, it won't take but a minute.
Have fun. This is quite interesting! You must not scroll down until you have drawn the pig.
Draw your picture. No cheating now. You will find this veryinteresting if you draw your picture first!
***
YOU'RE CHEATING! DRAW THE FRIGGIN PIG!!!
IT RUINS THE JOKE IF YOU DON'T DRAW THE PIG. IT
DOESN'T HAVE TO LOOK GOOD. JUST DO IT. IT'LL TAKE 20 SECONDS.
YOU'LL BE SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T DRAW THE PIG.
***
The pig serves as a useful test of the personality traits of the drawer.
If the pig is drawn:
Toward the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic.
Toward the middle, you are a realist.
Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency to behave negatively.
Facing more...