Drugstore Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. The lady asked, "What's that?" "A condom," the other lady responded. "This way my cigarette doesn't get wet." "Where did you get it?" the other lady asked. "You can get them at any drugstore." The next day, the first lady hobbled herself down to the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers. "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel." The pharmacist fainted.

This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. Sheasks the clerk if they have any new and different cards -- somethingunusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day -- "HappyBirthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry."The blonde replied, "How cool! I'll take the whole box!"

A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. He asks, "Can I have a dozen condoms, Miss?" "Don't Miss me, mister." "Well then, you better make it 13."

Man goes into a drugstore and up to a female pharmacist. "Can I help you?"
"Yes," answered the man. "What can you give me for a priapism?" "How about
$500 in cash and part ownership of a drugstore?"

Jim and Al are having lunch when Al says, "My elbow sure hurts. I guess I'd better go see the doctor."
"No, don't do that," Jim says. "There's no need to spend all that money. The corner drugstore has a new diagnostic computer. It's much quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you need to do is give it a urine sample, deposit ten bucks and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it."
Figuring he doesn't have anything to lose, Al takes a urine sample to the drugstore. He finds the computer, deposits his ten bucks and pours his urine sample into the slot. A few moments later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice daily and avoid heavy labor. It will improve in a couple of weeks.
That evening, while Al was thinking about how amazing this new technology was, he was also wondering whether the computer could be fooled. Deciding to give it a test, he mixed together some tap water, more...

Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. He asked his friend if he had anything that would keep him hard all night long. The man laughed and handed him a bottle of pills instructing him not to take more than one. Once at home, Charlie figured with three women he should take three pills, so he gulped them down. The next day Charlie showed up at the drugstore to see his friend. Asking for some liniment, he showed him his dick which was ripped to shreds. In disbelief, his friend asked if he was sure that he wanted to put liniment on his dick. Charlie replied "No, I need it for my arms the women never showed up!"

Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent. From my purchase this chap took off ten percent. I asked for the cause of a lesser amount; And he answered, "Because of the Seniors Discount." I went to McDonald`s for a burger and fries; And there, once again, got quite a surprise. The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me. He said, "For you, Seniors, the coffee is free." Understand---I`m not old---I`m merely mature; But some things are changing, temporarily, I`m sure. The newspaper print gets smaller each day, And people speak softer---can`t hear what they say. My teeth are my own (I have the receipt), and my glasses identify people I meet. Oh, I`ve slowed down a bit...not a lot, I am sure. You see, I`m not old...I`m only mature. The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun. You should see all the damage that chlorine has done. Washing my hair has turned it all white, But don`t call it gray...saying "blond" is just right. My car is all paid more...