Drummer Jokes / Recent Jokes

If a hundred dollar bill was laying in the center of a room, and Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get to it first?
The drummer with bad time of course. The other three don't exist.

A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, "I'd like to look at the accordions, please." The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says "All our accordions are over there." After browsing, the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner." The store owner looks at him and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?" The drummer, crestfallen, says, "How did you know?" The store owner says, "That `big red accordion' is the radiator."

A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some "real" musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion."

The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay".

A young drummer girl was walking along the street when she heard.. "Psst! Down here!"
She looked down and saw a frog sitting by the curb. The frog says to her, "Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn into a world famous drummer and make you rich and famous!" She thought for a moment and reached down, grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her pocket.
A woman standing nearby witnessing the whole event said, "What did you do that for?"
The girl replied, "I'm not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth heaps more than a famous drummer any day!"

A drummer sits behind the drumset and the band leader says, "Can you play a samba pattern with your bass drum?"
The drummer obliges with a quick "boom b boom" samba pattern.
The band leader then asks, "Can you add a Mozambique cowbell pattern along with that with your right hand?"
The drummer thinks to himself, "I can do that, no problem" and obliges, giving it his best Steve Gadd possible. He is then told, "Now add a 2/3 clave with your left foot on the hi hat."
The drummer's struggling a bit with this one but finally works it out and stiffins his back, all proud of himself.
Next he hears, "Now add a cascara pattern on the snare with your left hand." Years of studying Gary Chester books and listening to world music finally come to fruition and the relieved drummer finds he can play the whole pattern with no problem.
Pleased with himself, he asks the band leader "So, do I get the more...

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn`t improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can`t handle his instrument and doesn`t improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can`t handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

Two cowboys were waiting in their fort for the Indians to attack. They listened to the distant pounding war drums.

One cowboy muttered to the other, "I don't like the sound of them drums."

Just then, a distant voice came over the hill, "It's not our usual drummer!"