Drummer Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day a drummer sick of all of the "stupid drummer" jokes decided to change instruments. So he went to the local music store and said that he wanted to learn a new instrument. The store owner cheerfully replied ok and asked what he would be interested in playing.
After looking around the shop he said I'll try those things over there, pointing to the accordion section.
After looking through the accordions from over an hour the shop keeper said, "Have you found what you looking for?"
The drummer replied, "Yes, I'll take that big red one over there."
The store keeper smiled and and stared laughing. When the drummer asked why he was laughing the store keeper replied, "Are you a drummer, son?"
"Yeah!" replied the drummer.
"Well that big red thing is a radiator"
Q: How can you tell if the drummer's platform is level? A: Drool is coming out of both sides of his mouth.
A guy walks into a shop and says, "You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gobson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremulo?"
"You're a drummer, aren't you?"
"Duh, yeah. How'd you know?"
"This is a travel agency."
'Twas the fight before Christmas
when all through the house
the tension was rising
'tween in-laws and spouse.
Expecting the onslaught, she'd shopped, wrapped, and baked,
Mom verged on exhaustion, her back cramped and ached.
"This year will be perfect!" determined she vowed
Then she lined up her brood, and she ordered aloud,
"Now, listen up, kids! Clean your ears, so you'll hear it!
You'll stop all your whining and get into the spirit!"
Their kinfolk were traveling from locales afar,
to watch little Jen as she held up the Star,
Jeremiah as drummer, and Jimmy as goat,
and the rest of the rugrats playing Heavenly Host.
The pastor who cast them, though' twas said he was braver
didn't trust Baby Paul to portray the sweet Savior.
Now the eve of the holiday pageant had come.
The mock angels fluttered, the wee drummer drummed,
and drummed and he drummed until Mom thought she'd more...
SNARE DRUM/TRAP SET: This weapon affects only a very small demographic: teenage girls and the fathers of these girls with steady jobs and liquid bank accounts. The snare drummer and the jazz/rock variety of set player act almost like a computer worm. The drummer will attach himself to an unsuspecting teenage girl and milk her and her father's finances in such a way as to not be noticed by the father until it is too late. Drummers are the leaches of the music world and can only be countered by being forced to get a real day job. This will reduce the drummer's "coolness" factor and the daughter will immediately lose interest.
There's a five pound note on the floor. Of a thrash guitarist, a drummer who keeps good time, and a drummer who keeps bad time, who picks it up? The drummer who keeps bad time. The other drummer doesn't exist, and the thrash guitarist doesn't care about notes anyway.
Q: How do you get two piccolos to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.
Q: What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe..
Q: What do you call an oboist who is deaf?
A: Principal.
Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but he gyrates so much he'll fall off the ladder.
Q: What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What do a clarinet and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Q: What's the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.
Q: What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower.
Q: If you were lost in the woods, who more...