Egg Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was once a indian and an pakistani who lived next door to each other. The indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the pakistani pick up the egg. The indian ran up to the pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the indian said, "in my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: i kick your back and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The pakistani agreed to this and so the indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward more...
Would you like a duck egg for supper? Only if you quack it for me.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It may take a while for me to get hard, I just got laid yesterday.
People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The
trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat
(the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the
liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet).
Consequently, people tend to cheat of their diets, or quit
after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle
Diet.
Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds
are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to
all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor
before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing
him afterwards. Good Luck! !!
DAY ONE Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast
with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers;
dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear
the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips,
and a glass more...
What do you call an egg from outer space? An unidentified flying omelet!
Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred kept under their bed. The box had been there for the past 20 years of their marriage but she had never invaded his privacy. One day, while cleaning, she decided to take a look in the box. She didn't figure it was anything he was hiding since she could have looked at it any other time but hadn't. In the box she found 3 eggs and 10 thousand dollars. This seemed very strange so she went to Fred and asked,' Why are there 3 eggs in a box under our bed?'
He replied,' Well, every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box.'
Sue was surprised and hurt that he had been unfaithful but she consoled herself with the fact that they had been married for over 20 years and he had only been unfaithful 3 times.' But where did the 10 thousand dollars come from?' she asked.' Every time I got a dozen, I sold it.'
Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one, but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.
On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past... but never the present.
A foolish husband remarks to his wife: "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work.
The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.
Many girls like to marry a military man--he can cook, sew, make bed, and isin good health... and he's already used to more...