Egg Jokes / Recent Jokes

A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really ticked if it's not ready on time!" she exclaimed suddenly.

When she got home, she realized that she didn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she had in the cupboard was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.

She greeted her husband and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, the husband really enjoyed his dinner. "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day."

Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her bridge cronies about it more...

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken, with a satisfied smile on it's face, is leaning up against the headboard smoking a ciggy.
The egg, looking pissed off, grabs the sheets, rolls over, and says "Well I guess we just answered THAT question!"
- Submitted by Kirrily.
A chicken goes into a library and says, "Bok," so the librarian gives it a book. Ten minutes later the same chicken comes in again and says, "Bok bok." The librarian gives the chicken two books, but being a bit curious, follows the chicken down the road where the chicken meets a frog. The frog says to the chicken, "Redit, redit!"

What do you get if you cross a Scottish legend and a bad egg?
The Loch Ness Pongster!

This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night. After a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. One Thursday, she's playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time.' Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time.' She dashes out of her friend's house; her great hand forgotten on the table.

When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time. There is enough time to go to the supermarket and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf, just as her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it!

'Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this more...

Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee!

Jill and John got married. John thought this
would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners.
So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"
Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, "third time's a charm" and brought her two eggs -- one scrambled and one poached."Here, my love, enjoy!" Jill looks at the plate and says, "You scrambled the wrong egg."

The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor:

"As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg. Address it and say, "I'm a Sperm." She will answer, "I'm the Egg." From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?"

The sperm nodded affirmatively and the instructor said, "Then, good luck!"

Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes up immediately and runs to the tunnel. A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm. He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach the red, sticky ball.

When, at last, he reaches the red, more...