Elephants Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do elephants live in herds?
To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.

A rather inebriated fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny pieces and throwing them out the window.
"Excuse me," said the woman sitting next to him, "but would you mind explaining why you're tearing up that paper and throwing the pieces out the window?"
"It scares away the elephants," said the drunk.
"I don't see any elephants," said the woman, smiling.
"Effective isn't it?" said the drunk.

Q - Why do elephants travel in herds?
A - Because is they traveled in flocks they might be mistaken for sheep.
Q - What did Jane say when she saw the elephants come over the hill?
A - Look, here comes the elephants!
Q - What did Jane say when she saw the elephants come over the hill wearing sun glasses?
A - Nothing - she didn't recognize them.
Q - How can you tell if there is an elephant in bed with you?
A - By the giant "E" on its pyjamas.
Q - How can you tell if an elephant has crawled under the bed during the night?
A - You are currently having an intimate relationship with the ceiling.
Q - How do you tell if an Elephant has been making love in your backyard?
A - If all your trashcan liners are missing.
Q - Why does an elephant have four feet?
A - Because 8 inches isn't enough!
Q - Where do elephants have their sex organs?
A - In their feet - If an elephant steps on you, you're fucked!
Q - Why did the more...

Why do elephants live in herds? To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night? Russell! A man was sprinkling some white powder on his lawn."Why are you doing that?" asked his neighbour"It's to keep the elephants off the grass", he replied."But we don't get elephants round here!""I know - good stuff isn't it!" What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up it's sweater? Warren! What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater? Terrified! What do you call someone with an elephant on their head? Squashed! Who lost a herd of elephants? Big bo peep! What is an elephants favorite film? Elephantasia What do elephants say as a compliment? You look elephantastic! What do you do with old cannon balls? Give them to elephants to use as marbles! What animals were last to leave the ark? The elephants as they had to pack their trunks!

What do you call an elephant with a machine gun? Sir! What can an elephant with a machine gun call you? Anything he likes! What do you call an elephant that's small and pink? A failure! What is stronger an elephant or a snail? A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk! What do you give an elephant with big feet? Plenty of room! Tarzan was tired when he came home."What have you been doing", asked Jane."Chasing a herd of elephants on vines""Really?", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies? You would miss most of the film! What steps would you take if you were being chased by an elephant? Big ones! What do you find in an elephants graveyard? Elephantoms! Why do elephants have wrinkly ankes? Because their shoes are too tight!

How do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won't close. How do you know there are *three* elephants in your fridge? There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini. How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge? By the footprints in the butter.