Elmo Jokes / Recent Jokes

What was the last thing they gave to Elmo before he left the factory?
2 testtickles!

There is a factory in America which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00am.

The next day at 8:45am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The personnel manager decides he should see this for himself so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there, the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement more...

Snow blower for sale... only used on snowy days.
2 Wire mesh butchering gloves, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15
Tickle Me Elmo, still in box, comes with it's own 1988 Mustang, 5l, auto, excellent condition $6800
Tickle Me Elmo. New in box. Hardly tickled. $700
Valentines Day Sale: Ty-D-Bol Blue Toss-Ins
Star Wars Job of the Hut -- $15
Do something special for your Valentine - Have your septic tank pumped.
Full sized mattress. 20 Yr warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.

These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world. SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 TICKLE ME ELMO. NEW IN BOX. HARDLY TICKLED. $700 VALENTINES DAY SALE: TY-D-BOL BLUE TOSS-INS STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15 DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED. FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. FREE 1 CAN OF PORK + BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8: 00 AM.
The next day at 8: 45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, more...