Enjoys Jokes / Recent Jokes

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are.1-AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart.2-LAZY - Just fizzles3-AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts4-SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts5-CARELESS - Farts in church6-SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present.7-CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time8-SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts9-STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole10-FOOLISH - Farts and laughs.11-SHY - Blushes even when farts silently.12-CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest.13-UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants.14- TIMID - Jumps when farting.15-BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others.16-SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants.17-NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart.18-MISERABLE - Can't fart19-CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass, Farts don't know where to go.20-GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart.21-SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on the dog.22-DISAPPOINTED - Their farts don't stink.23-FRESH GUY - Jumps in front of you and farts.24-BIG more...

SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom northside condo. $800/month plus 1/2 utilities. Must enjoy garlic, taxidermy & clock repair.
SWF: Seeks any M, age 16-52, for immediate marriage. Willing to beg. Call 24/hours, 7/days 1-800-I'm-4you.
SWM: 39, enjoys assault rifles, heavy drinking, and testosterone. Seeks like-minded SF, W only, to listen to political conspiracy theories and help stock secluded mountain shelter. Don't bother to write, I already know where you live.
SWF: 25, enjoys poetry recitals, interpretive dance, herb tea, New Age music, communing with Galian nature spirits, and Jello sculpting. Seeks aloof, analytic whimp.
SWM: 59, wide range of interests including Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Power Rangers, and Sea Quest. ISO compatible F.
SM: Seeking an adventurous SF interested in underwater bondage with or w/o scuba gear and albino livestock breeding. No weirdos please.
SBM: Vegetarian Truck-driving Republican juggler wishes to meet woman of more...

Subject: Truth in Advertising

List of Abbreviations in the WOMEN SEEKING MEN Classifieds
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CODE WORD INTERPRETED AS:

40-ish 48
Adventurer Has had more partners than you ever will
Affectionate Possessive
Artist Unreliable
Athletic Flat chested
Average looking Ugly
Beautiful Pathological liar
Commitment-minded Pick out curtains, now!
Communication important Just try to get a word in edgewise
Contagious Smile Bring your penicillin
Educated College dropout
Emotionally Secure Medicated
Employed Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home
Enjoys art and opera Snob
Enjoys Nature Bring your own granola
Exotic Beauty Would frighten a Martian
Feminist Fat; ball buster
Financially Secure One paycheck from the street
Free spirit Substance user
Friendship first Trying to live down reputation as more...

Were you born in the Year of the Ass? Consult the Corporate Animal Calendar to find out!
Select the number of the year your birthday end in.
Cock: 0
Maggot: 1
Sheep: 2
Weasel: 3
Cockroach: 4
Hen: 5
Snake: 6
Dung Beetle: 7
Squid: 8
Ass: 9
Blenny: Leap Year
YEAR OF THE COCK: Those born in this year tend to be the most aggressively abusive denizens of he office. Their evil crowing is ubiquitous, and they tend to regard all others as born in the year of the hen, and often become partners in law offices. Watch out for the ones born on the cusp of the Year of the Ass!
YEAR OF THE MAGGOT: These specimens usually become the bitterest of bitter clerks, often degenerating into paralegals in the terminal stages. The maggot yearns to rise up and cast down his masters, yet he knows he never will.
YEAR OF THE SHEEP: Prime exponents of the herd mentality. See them demonstrate loyalty. See them worship the corporate ethic. See more...