Entrance Jokes / Recent Jokes

Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Alabama in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette player. Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroy can print his complete name. Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte, N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Omaha. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick". Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims
Woodrow and child more...

Collage 268 27 MAY 96
SUBJ: College Entrance Exam, Football-Player Version
Time Limit: 3 WKS
Name: _____________________________
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with
particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social
conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
___ A. build a bridge
___ (b) sail the ocean
___ (c) lead an army or
___ (d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
___ A. Jewish
___ (b) Catholic
___ (c) Hindu
___ (d) Polish
___ (e) Agnostic
(check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in America's far north called?
___ A. Westerners
___ (b) Southerners
___ (c) more...

The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the
sweetest face for the opening scene of the Christmas play. "Now,
all you have to do, when you hear me say to the choir' ... and
the angel lit the candle', is come on stage and light all the
candles."
"I can do it, I can do it!" the little boy said, excitedly.
Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night arrived. The
choir was ready, the stage was beautifully decorated with dozens
of unlit candles all around, and all awaited the moment when the
cute littlest angel would make his entrance.
The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began to play, and
the choir swept into the introductory lines, ending with an
expectant "... and the angel lit the candle"
Everyone looked stage right for the entrance.
No little boy.
The director gave the downbeat again, and more loudly said,
"... and the angel lit the more...

College Entrance Exam
Football Player Version
1. What language is spoken by the FRENCH?
2. Give a dissertation on the anient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions.
-OR-
Give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
A. build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope? (Check only one)
A. Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic
5. Metric conversion: How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in America's far north called?
A. Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell - Bush, Carter and Clinton
Bush:
Carter:
Clinton:
10. Six kings of England have been more...

Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven where St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates. However, the gates are closed so Forest approaches the gateskeeper.
"Forest, it's good to see you," St. Peter says. "We've heard a great deal about you. I must advise you that the place is filling up very quickly, so we are administering an entrance exam for everyone. You must pass the test in order to enter."
"It shore is good to be here, St. Peter," Forest replies. "I've been looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about entrance exams though. Sure do hope the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."
"I know it was, Forest," says St. Peter, "but the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God's first name?"
Forest goes away to think the questions over. When he returns the more...

College Entrance Exam, Football-Player Version
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
Name: _____________________________
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
___ A. build a bridge
___ (b) sail the ocean
___ (c) lead an army or
___ (d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
___ A. Jewish
___ (b) Catholic
___ (c) Hindu
___ (d) Polish
___ (e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in America's far north called?
___ A. Westerners
___ (b) Southerners
___ (c) Northerners
9. Spell: Bush, Carter, and more...

Forest Gump Goes to Heaven...
The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.
Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you." "I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."
Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this." "Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest." "But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?" "Second, how many more...