Eve Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.... When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. You're running around with other women," she told her mate.

"Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth."

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest.

It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve!
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D"!
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Santa Claustrophobia!
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail!
Who delievers cat's Christmas presents?
Santa Paws!
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!
Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus!
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down?
Stacks!
Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve?
Because he's Sooty!

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.... When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset." You're running around with other women," she told her mate." Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso." What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded." Counting your ribs," said Eve!

"Dear Santa:
One of the saddest stories at Christmas is how Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, wasn't allowed to join in all the reindeer games. Rudolph became a hero, but we never actually found out what sort of games are reindeer games. What kinds of games are they?"
Well, Peter, there are reindeer games, and then there are The Reindeer Games. It's the difference between playing softball in the park with your buddies, and participating in the Olympics. Anyone can play reindeer games any time they want (even if you're not really a reindeer). But it takes a special sort of deer to have the drive to be in the Reindeer Games.
Again like the Olympics, there are a number of categories in the Reindeer Games, but here are some of the most popular:
LONG JUMP - Since our reindeer can actually fly, you can imagine the distances we get on this one.
100 COUNTRY DASH - Each year, our computers randomly generate a list of 100 countries, and the reindeer see who can more...

After God had created Adam he noticed that he
looked very lonely. He decided to help. He said
"Adam, I've decided to make you a woman. She'll
love you, cook for you, be sweet to you, and
understand you." Adam said "Great! How much will
she cost me?" The answer came back, "An arm and
a leg."

"Well," said Adam "what can I get for a rib?"

The First Parent

by Bill Cosby

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids.

After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?", Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."

"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?"

"It's over there," said God, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and He was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Adam answered.

God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their more...

In the Garden of Eden, Adam had just met Eve and they got talking
about sex. Eve was curious about what Adam did to have sex - after all,
she was the first woman on earth. So Adam took here by the hand and led
her to a nearby tree and showed her a hole in the tree trunk, just about
the right height for Adam to thrust his desires away.
Smiling, Eve said "Well now you don't have to have sex with the
tree because I've got a hole too so why don't you put it in me?"
She lay down on her back and opened her legs as wide as they would
go. Adam, looking forward to this impending moment of passion, took
several steps back.
"Come on, big boy!" said Eve. Adam ran towards Eve and..... KICKED
her between the legs as hard as he could!
"What was that for????" asked Eve....
Adam: "Oh, just checking for squirrels......"