Exhaust Jokes

Since at one time or another, I have seen idiots doing such things, I thought I might just as well make it easy for them and give them a list.
When your car is so old as to break down every mile or so, be sure to drive on bridges and narrow highways during peak rush hour traffic.
If your car breaks down while driving, stay in the middle of the road. Do not attempt to move to the shoulder.
When disabled in the road, leave your car door wide open.
If it is necessary to change your tire on a road shoulder, place the flat tire in the middle of the road and make traffic drive around it.
If your muffler system breaks, keep it broken as long as possible. Drive through residential neighborhoods at night as much as you can and rev the engine.
Drag your exhaust system on the ground when possible.
If your car leaks oil, and you visit friends or relatives, park in their driveway.
Never replace worn tires and drive fast on wet roads and slippery roads.
If you more...

I made this up.
Looking for a girl-friend
Following are some of the requirements.
* Make and Model Human/Woman
* Year 1966 - 1972
* Mileage Low (prefer ~0)
* Engine Three Cylinder (V-1 position)
EFI**
Multi-port Injection
Single fuel intake/double exhaust (all three usable)
Very low noise
Quick acceleration (Zero to Sixty Nine in

A blonde crashed her car multiple times, and it was covered in dents, so she took it to the garage. The mechanic told her to take the car home and blow into the exhaust pipe so all the air pressure inside the car pushes out the dents in the body work. So she went home, and blew into the exhaust, but nothing happened. Then her friend came and asked her what she was doing. "I'm inflating the car by blowing in the exhaust pipe to get rid of these dents". Her friend, also a blonde, replied: "Duh, you're supposed to wind the windows up first"

Harley Davidson dies, and goes to heaven.
One day, he finds himself talking to God.
God says "You know Harley, I really like you bikes.
There was only one thing wrong with them - the inlet was too close
to the exhaust."
Harley replied "I couldn't find any way around that, though
I notice that you had the same problem with women, you know, inlet
to close to the exhaust."
God gets pretty angry at this, and snaps back
"I bet more people rode my model than yours!"