Explanation Jokes / Recent Jokes

Since the world situation is making us all think about how governments, religions and business effect us, this simplified explanation might help us under stand better.
THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...
A CHRISTIAN:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You more...

Suddenly one of the employees in an organization took 10 days Leave without any notice. When he returned his PL asked for explanation. The employee said "Sir, my mom died unexpectedly". The PL let it go at that.
After 3 months the same pattern repeated, and this time he said his father died. Then the PL got changed. After 3 months the same pattern repeated. And the employee gave the explanation that his mom died.
After 3 months same thing again... and this time his father died. This happened repeatedly for 2 years. At the end, one PL checked his past records and told him, "I have caught you red handed, How come in the past 2 years, your mom has died 5 times, and your dad has died five times?"
To which the guy said, "Sir, my mom died and my father remarried. Then my father died and my new mom remarried. Then my mom died and the new father remarried. This has been going on and on and on and..."!!!!!

Hilary Clinton was taking a tour of a D. C. hospital while working to reform healthcare in the U. S. As she is touring, a doctor is explaining all the different functions of the hospital to her.

Eventually, they pass an open room in the inpatient ward, where Hilary could clearly see a middle aged man masturbating with great enthusiasm. The doctor quickly instructed the floor nurse to close the door. It was too late, Hilary had already seen.

She fiercely looked at the doctor and said, "What kind of hospital are you running here Doctor?"

The doctor calmly explained that the man had a very rare ailment, which required him to ejaculate three times daily, or his testicles would swell and he would die. Hilary accepted the doctor's explanation and they moved on.

A few minutes later, they came across another open room, yet this time they witnessed a nurse on her knees giving a different middle aged man oral sex. Hilary was outraged and more...

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his left leg that doesn't heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain. The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, "I'm sorry, but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there's nothing I can do about it." The old man replies with a look of disbelief, "That's impossible! It is illogical! That just can't be!" The doctor says, "What do you mean? I'm the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it's NOT old age?" The patient answers, "I'm no doctor, but it doesn't take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you're mistaken. After all, my right leg feels just fine." "So what?" says the doctor in a bit of a professional huff, "What difference does that more...

Her Majesty the Queen was being shown around a hospital. As she was
being given the guided tour by a senior consultant, they passed a room
where a man was masturbating wildly through the window. Of course the
Queen was not at all amused and demanded an explanation as to why these activities were allowed in the hospital.
"Ah," said the doctor, "Now, although it is perhaps unfortunate that
you should have witnessed that, in fact, that poor patient is suffering from a very debilitating condition. He produces so much semen that unless he gets rid of it 4 times a day his testicles will explode."
"Oh." said Her Majesty. "Well, in that case I suppose it's understandable."
Further down the corridor they passed another room. The door was open
and you could see a nurse was clearly giving a patient oral sex.
"Goodness Gracious!" shrieked Her Majesty, "I demand an explanation of
this kind of sordid more...

Her Majesty the Queen was being shown around a hospital. As she wasbeing given the guided tour by a senior consultant, they passed a roomwhere a man was masturbating wildly through the window. Of course theQueen was not at all amused and demanded an explanation as to why these activities were allowed in the hospital."Ah," said the doctor, "Now, although it is perhaps unfortunate thatyou should have witnessed that, in fact, that poor patient is suffering from a very debilitating condition. He produces so much semen that unless he gets rid of it 4 times a day his testicles will explode.""Oh." said Her Majesty. "Well, in that case I suppose it's understandable."Further down the corridor they passed another room. The door was openand you could see a nurse was clearly giving a patient oral sex."Goodness Gracious!" shrieked Her Majesty, "I demand an explanation ofthis kind of sordid goings- on!""Ah," said the Doctor, more...

Her Majesty the Queen was being shown round a hospital. As she was being given the guided tour by a senior consultant they passed a room where you could see a man masturbating wildly through the window. Of course the Queen was not at all amused and demanded an explanation as to why these activities were allowed in the hospital.
"Ah." said the Doctor."
Now although it is perhaps unfortunate that you should have witnessed that, in fact that poor patient is suffering from a very debilitating condition. He produces so much sperm that unless he gets rid of it 4 times a day his testicles will explode."
"Oh." said her Majesty."
Well, in that case I suppose I can understand."
A little further on down the corridor they passed another room.
The door was open, and through it you could see a nurse who was clearly giving a patient a blow job." Goodness Gracious!" shrieked HM."
I demand an explanation for these more...