Fairy Jokes / Recent Jokes
And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his
espoused wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a
Son and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger
because there was no room for them in the inn.
And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds and said, "I
bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior, which
is Christ the Lord."
"There's a problem with the angel, said a Pharisee, who happened
to be strolling by.
As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as religious
symbols, and the stable was on public property, where such symbols
were not allowed to land, or even hover. "And I have to tell you,
this whole thing looks to me very much like a Nativity scene, he
said sadly. "That's a no-no, too.
Joseph had a bright idea, "What if I put a couple of reindeer over
there near the ox and the ass? he more...
Andy was out playing golf when his ball landed on the rough in a patch of buttercups. Just as he lifted his club in the air, he heard a faint voice, "Please, don't hurt my buttercup."
Startled, he lowered his club and took a look around to confirm that he was alone. Satisfied that he was, he began to raise his club when he again heard the same voice, a little louder this time, "Please, don't hurt my buttercups."
Unsure of what to make of it, he spoke aloud, "Hello? Is anyone out there?" Immediately, a small fairy appeared before him. "I am the forest fairy. If you don't hurt my buttercups, then I shall give you all the butter you want for the rest of your life."
"Where the hell were you when I was in the pussywillows?" Andy replied.
Cinderella is now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the dead Prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: "I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Bob, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said, "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother." The Fairy Godmother replied more...
Cinderella REALLY wanted to go to Prince Charming's ball, but as you know the evil stepsisiers and stepmother will not let her. So they leave her all alone on the big night, cleaning the place.
"Oh, how I wish I could go!" Cinderella sighed.
No sooner had she said this than her Fairy Godmother appeared, holding a long, beautiful white dress.
"Here, god-child," the fairy said, "try this on."
So Cinderella puts the thing on, and it fits perfectly, except she notices some red drops on the white fabric. "Dammit" Cinderella said" of all the lousy nights to get my period!"
So the God mother presents her with a magic Tampon to solve the problem, but the tampon has a warning on it: "Please return to the house by midnight or the tampon will be turned into a pumpkin."
Cinderella puts it in her and goes to the Ball.
Meanwhile, the Fairy Godmother awaits Cinderella's return. 10 o'clock -11 o'clock -12 more...
Cinderella REALLY wanted to go to Prince Charming's ball, but as you know the evil stepsisiers and stepmother will not let her. So they leave her all alone on the big night, cleaning the place."Oh, how I wish I could go!" Cinderella sighed.No sooner had she said this than her Fairy Godmother appeared, holding a long, beautiful white dress."Here, god-child," the fairy said, "try this on."So Cinderella puts the thing on, and it fits perfectly, except she notices some red drops on the white fabric. "Dammit" Cinderella said" of all the lousy nights to get my period!"So the God mother presents her with a magic Tampon to solve the problem, but the tampon has a warning on it: "Please return to the house by midnight or the tampon will be turned into a pumpkin."Cinderella puts it in her and goes to the Ball.Meanwhile, the Fairy Godmother awaits Cinderella's return. 10 o'clock -11 o'clock -12 o'clock-1 o'clockFinally, at around 3 in more...
A dumb blonde, smart blonde, santa clause, and the tooth fairy are walking on the sidewalk together. One of them steps on a five dollar bill. Who picks it up?
Cinderella wanted desperately to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother refused to allow her to go.
As Cinderella sat crying in the garden, her Fairy Godmother appeared and promised to provide her with everything she needed to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First," said the Fairy Godmother, "you must agree to wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agreed and asked what the second condition was.
"You must be home by midnight. Any later and your diaphram will turn into a pumpkin," the Godmother said. Cinderella agreed that she would be home on time.
The appointed hour came and went and Cinderella wasn't home. Finally, at 3:00 am, Cinderella arrived home looking love struck and very 'satisfied'.
"Where have you been?" demanded the Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!"
"I met a Prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything," replied a beaming more...