Fart Jokes / Recent Jokes

Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?" Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time," The Doctor nods, "Hmm." Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?" "Hmm," says the Doctor, He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription. The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?" "No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."

Janet Reno and Hilary Clinton were engaging in typical girl talk. Hilary told Janet how lucky she was not having men make unwanted advances towards her, and that she never knew where Bill's pecker was the night before. Janet Reno remarked that just because she wasn't beautiful didn't mean that men didn't make passes at her.

So Hillary asked Janet how she warded off these unwanted sexual advances and Janet told her that whenever a man made an unwanted pass at her, she mustered up the loudest, stinkiest fart she could, and that it worked every time.

Hilary thought this was a great idea and decided to use it the next time Bill got frisky.

That night, Bill was in bed before Hilary. As soon as she slipped between the covers, Bill rolled over and Hilary knew he wanted some action. She had been saving her farts all day and let out the loudest, crudest fart she could.

Bill got up on one elbow and said, "Janet, that you?"

People who say that they don't fart are probably full of hot air.

Three surgeons at a conference were discussing their greatest operations during one of the breaks.
First surgeon: "I once had an ambulance crew bring in a man's leg and my team and I built a new body around it and now that he's recovered fully he does the work of five guys." Second surgeon: "That's really good. My greatest test was a few skin fragments sent to us by the local nuclear plant after a major accident. My team and I work for three days and built an entire new person around those few bits and sent him back to work six months later. He's so good that he now runs the entire plant by himself!"
Third surgeon: "Not bad, my friend. I was walking along outside the White House when Clinton went jogging by and farted. I captured that fart in a plastic bag and went to the hospital. My team and I built another ass hole around that fart, added a brain and he's so good he's putting this entire country out of work!"

Three surgeons at a conference were discussing their greatest operations during one of the breaks.
First surgeon: "I once had an ambulance crew bring in a man's leg and my team and I built a new body around it and now that he's recovered fully he does the work of five guys."
Second surgeon: "That's really good. My greatest test was a few skin fragments sent to us by the local nuclear plant after a major accident. My team and I work for three days and built an entire new person around those few bits and sent him back to work six months later. He's so good that he now runs the entire plant by himself!"
Third surgeon: "Not bad, my friend. I was walking along outside the White House when Clinton went jogging by and farted. I captured that fart in a plastic bag and went to the hospital. My team and I built another ass hole around that fart, added a brain and he's so good he's putting this entire country out of work!"

Three surgeons at a conference were discussing their greatest operations during one of the breaks.First surgeon: "I once had an ambulance crew bring in a man's leg and my team and I built a new body around it and now that he's recovered fully he does the work of five guys."Second surgeon: "That's really good. My greatest test was a few skin fragments sent to us by the local nuclear plant after a major accident. My team and I work for three days and built an entire new person around those few bits and sent him back to work six months later. He's so good that he now runs the entire plant by himself!"Third surgeon: "Not bad, my friend. I was walking along outside the White House when Clinton went jogging by and farted. I captured that fart in a plastic bag and went to the hospital. My team and I built another ass hole around that fart, added a brain and he's so good he's putting this entire country out of work!"

Have you ever farted and then realized that it was the first note to one of your favorite oldies?

I had "Lean on Me" stuck in my head all day.