Fart Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie
The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie
The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.
Turtle Poopie
The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finally comes out
Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.
Gas-sy more...

Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels unwipped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie- This happens when you're done poopieing and you've pulled your pants up to your
knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie- The kind were you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Lincoln Log Poopie- The kind of poopie that is so huge, your afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Gassy Poopie- It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.
Corn Poopie- Self explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie- The kind more...

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are.
1-AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart.
2-LAZY - Just fizzles
3-AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts
4-SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts
5-CARELESS - Farts in church
6-SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present.
7-CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time
8-SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts
9-STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole
10-FOOLISH - Farts and laughs.
11-SHY - Blushes even when farts silently.
12-CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest.
13-UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants.
14- TIMID - Jumps when farting.
15-BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others.
16-SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants.
17-NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart.
18-MISERABLE - Can't fart
19-CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass,
Farts don't know where to go.
20-GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart.
21-SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on more...

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are.1-AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart.2-LAZY - Just fizzles3-AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts4-SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts5-CARELESS - Farts in church6-SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present.7-CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time8-SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts9-STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole10-FOOLISH - Farts and laughs.11-SHY - Blushes even when farts silently.12-CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest.13-UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants.14- TIMID - Jumps when farting.15-BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others.16-SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants.17-NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart.18-MISERABLE - Can't fart19-CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass, Farts don't know where to go.20-GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart.21-SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on the dog.22-DISAPPOINTED - Their farts don't stink.23-FRESH GUY - Jumps in front of you and farts.24-BIG more...

Big chiefs wife goes to see the tribe doctor.
She tells him "Doctor, Big Chief, no fart" "Ahh" says the Doctor "take this tablet to him and tell him to stick it up his bum then come back in one week". So off she goes. All well and done, she returns a week later. "Doctor, Big Chief still no fart. "Hmmm I see" he says."Here, take this pill and do as you did last week". With that the Doctor hands her a pill the size of a matchbox. A week soon passes and she returns. "Doctor big chief still no-fucking fart"."Oh I see", says doctor, "Here take this and repeat the process" The Doctor hands her a tennis ball sized pill.The wife goes home to her flatulated spouse. She does as is told and returns to see the doctor the following morning looking rather bewildered. The doctor sits her down and asks her to report the outcome. After countless sobs she blurts out "Doctor, Big fart no fucking Chief".

A Guide to the Identification and Classification of North American FartsLearning- or better still, thinking up- names for fart types is atraditional early-adolescent ritual. Similarly, methods of identifyingthe source of a fart are a subject of peer-group, or tribal, speculation, the usual rule of thumb being "Who smelled it, dealt it,"or "The smeller's the feller." Occasionally, this oral tradition has acheived the level of Xeroxpublication, but never before has a systematic analysis, along the linesof Jane's Fighting ships or A Field Guide to the Birds, been attemptedin print. Tentatively, then, we present the following. Blind Farts: Traditional noiseless reekers. (Expression since circa1880 - see also "SBD's"). Boomers: Full-throated, rousing explosions; the parent orginismfrequently betrays his or her authorship with a smile of ill-conceledpride. Carpet Creepers: Heavier- than- air creations, these linger andpermeate the atmosphere at or near ground more...

There is an old Indian Tribe in the Amazon and their chief is getting old and a new, young challenger wants to be chief.
So the wise man of the tribe decides that whoever produces the loudest fart in a week will be chief.
The first few days pass and neither the chief or his young rival have farted.
The wiseman emerges and says, "Big Chief no Fart." The next day a truck load of baked beans arrives for the Chief, but at the end of the day the wiseman says, "Big Chief no Fart."
The next day, three truckloads arrives for the Chief, but again the wiseman comes out and says,"Big Chief no Fart."
The Chief is becoming frustrated and orders an army of trucks loaded with baked beans.
At the end of the day the wiseman comes out and says... "Big Fart, no Chief!"