Fart Jokes / Recent Jokes

This little boy goes to school to find that he has a substitute teacher. He sits down in his chair and the teacher comes back to him and ask's him what his name is. He replies, "My name's Bart, but my friends call me Fart and that really pisses me off." The teeacher says, "Now young man we don't use that kind of language in this school." Where do you live?" The little boy replies, "I live on 3rd street, but my friends call it turd street and that really pisses me off!" The teacher says, "That's it young man your going to have to go down to the principal's office."
he goes down to the principal's office and the pricipal is waiting for him. She's a pretty lady. She says, "You look like such an innocent child, what could you have done?" He says, "I don't know." She says, "Well, what's your name?" "My names Bart, but my friends call me Fart and that really pisses me off." She said, "That's it more...

Why do men fart more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Why do men fart more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

There once was a man who when he married his wife he swore never to eat baked beans because things happened when he did. one day when he took a 5 mile walk after 2 miles he got very hungry. ahead of him was baked bean stand. he was so hungry he had to have some. when he was finished eating he got very hyper and started to fart. since he still had 3 miles to go he thought it would wear off.
when he stepped into his house his eyes were covered with a blind fold. "i have a surprise for you" said his wife. "okay he said" he sat down at the table when the phone rang. he than realized eh had to fart. he let out a little bit. than a little bit more. finally he let out all of it. when his wife came back she took off the blind fold and sitting in front of him were 12 guests.

Confucius say... Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!! Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom. Man who fly plane upside down have crackup. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town. Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk. A girl's best asset is her' lie'ability. Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have! Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor. Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger. Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard. Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down. Man with atletic finger make broad jump. more...

Here's a handy list to print out and carry with you at all times. Next time ya rip one and someone asks, "what was that?", you can now explain!
Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odour.
Eggy Fart Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.
Windy Fart The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh', and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.
Growling Fart Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell). Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.
Worrying Fart The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels more...

Here's a handy list to print out and carry with you at all times. Next time ya rip one and someone asks, "what was that?", you can now explain! Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odour.Eggy Fart Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.Windy Fart The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh', and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.Growling Fart Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell). Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.Worrying Fart The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You more...