Fart Jokes / Recent Jokes

Big Chief, No Fart
There is an old Indian Tribe in the Amazon and their chief is getting old and a new, young challenger wants to be chief.
So the wise man of the tribe decides that whoever produces the loudest fart in a week will be chief.
The first few days pass and neither the chief or his young rival have farted.
The wiseman emerges and says, "Big Chief no Fart." The next day a truck load of baked beans arrives for the Chief, but at the end of the day the wiseman says, "Big Chief no Fart."
The next day, three truckloads arrives for the Chief, but again the wiseman comes out and says,"Big Chief no Fart."
The Chief is becoming frustrated and orders an army of trucks loaded with baked beans.
At the end of the day the wiseman comes out and says... "Big Fart, no Chief!"

Q. Whats the difference between an elephants fart and a cocktail saloon?
A. Ones a Bar Room and the others a BARRROOOOOOOMMMM!!!!

This newfy comes to america and never had sex before. His friend in newfoundland told him if he wanted to learn about sex to go see the hookers in america they would teach him sex.
so the newfy found a hooker and asked her:
(newfy)-i never had sex before and i was told to see you to learn!
(hooker)-yes well we will start with a 69!
(newfy)-ok sure!!!
So they get into position and the newfy is not to sure about what he should be doing?
so he putts one hand on her ass! and the hooker let's a big fart go!!
(hooker) oop's sorry about that are you ok?
(newfy making a weird face)- yeah sure!
So the newfy putts the other hand on her ass and she let's an even bigger fart out!
(hooker)- sorry are you ok?
(newfy gasping for air)yeah i'll be ok thanks!
So the newfy putts both his hands on her ass and the hooker let's a big juicy stinky fart and say's:
(hooker)-i'm really really sorry about that!!!
(newfy almost puking )-It's ok but i think more...

An older couple lay in bed, and the man, as he has done for the past 40 years, farts loudly.
The woman turns over and looks at him and says, "One day you are going to fart your guts out." He nonchalantly responds, "Nah".
Thanksgiving morning, only a few days later, the woman gets up early to start the dinner for that evenings festivities.
As she cleans the turkey a thought pops into her head. Still holding the turkey giblets she runs into their bedroom where her husband is still sleeping.
She gently pushes the contents of her hand into the back of her husbands underwear, then returns back to the kitchen to finish the preparations.
A few moments later she hears the usual morning fart, then a loud thump, footsteps running down the hall, and the bathroom door slamming.
She does nothing but smile knowingly, and waits for her husband to come into the kitchen.
Not long after he enters, he looks at his wife and says, "Honey, you were more...

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are. 1-AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart. 2-LAZY - Just fizzles3-AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts4-SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts5-CARELESS - Farts in church6-SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present. 7-CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time8-SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts9-STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole10-FOOLISH - Farts and laughs. 11-SHY - Blushes even when farts silently. 12-CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest. 13-UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants. 14- TIMID - Jumps when farting. 15-BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others. 16-SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants. 17-NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart. 18-MISERABLE - Can't fart19-CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass, Farts don't know where to go. 20-GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart. 21-SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on the dog. 22-DISAPPOINTED - Their farts don't stink. 23-FRESH GUY - Jumps in front of you and more...

Q. Why don't little girls fart?
A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.

Bathroom Humor at its finest:
Ghost Poopie -- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie -- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie -- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie -- This happens when you're done Poopie-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poopie some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie -- The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Gassy Poopie -- It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.
Drinker Poopie -- The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
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