Fart Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day in a small village there lived a tribe which had leaders who farted. There was a chief who had suddenly stopped farting. So the chief tells his servent to go to the doctor and get some farting pills. The first day the servent goes to the doctor and says "doctor doctor big chief no fart" So the doctor sends him off with 3 pills > the second day the servent comes upto the doctor and says "doctor doctor big chief no fart" so the doctor sends him of with 10 pills > the next day the servent comes back and says "doctor doctor big chief no fart" So the doctor gets pissed off and sends him off with 50 pills > again the servent comes back, but this time he replies "doctor doctor big fart no chief"
There once was a pack of Indians and the Indian Chief could never seem to fart. So eventually he got one of his Indian people to call up a doctor and tell him "Big Chief no fart!".
So the doctor came up the next day with a pill and he
says "Here, take this and call me the next day to tell me what happened." So the Indian calls back up the next day and says "Still, Big Chief no fart!"
So the doctor brought up an even bigger pill. The next day the Indian calls the doctor up and says "Once again, Big Chief no fart!". So the doctor had enough of this and brought this HUGE pill, I mean this pill had to be taken in by tanks.
So the next day the Indian calls up the doctor and says..."BIG FART, NO CHIEF!!".
A couple had been happily married for 40 years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of loudly farting every morning as he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning, she would plead with him to stop ripping them off as it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor as she was concerned that one day he was going to fart his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas morning as she was downstairs preparing the turkey and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had just put the turkey innards, neck, gizzards, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl upstairs where her hubby was sound asleep and gently pulling back the bed covers, she slid down his underwear at the back and emptied the bowl more...
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.? Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.?
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at? the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, more...
A priest noticed that one of the nuns in the convent was getting a little chubby. "Is there anything wrong?" he asked her.
The nun replied, "It's just gas!"
As time went by he noticed she was getting very fat indeed.
"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked again. "Yes," she replied. "It's just gas!"
One day, the priest saw the nun pushing a pram around. He stopped and peered inside. "Hmm... cute little fart."
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