Fella Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little fella walks into a bar. Unfortunately for him, there is a pile of dog crap just inside the door and he slips in it and falls over. He gets up, cleans himself, walks to the bar and buys a drink.A great big man then enters the bar. He slips in the same pile of poop, falls, gets up, cleans himself and then buys a drink.Trying to strike up a conversation, the little guy turns to the big guy, points to the pile by the door and says, "I just did that."The big guy punched him in the mouth.

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar but says "What the heck, I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer "What's the name of your penis?" The customer says "Look, I'm just not into that. All I want is a drink."
The gay waiter says "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis."
So the customer asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer,"Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"
The gentleman with a smile looks back and says "Timex."
The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping on a margarita. "So,
what do you call your penis?" The other gentleman turns to him and proudly exclaims
"Ford."
The more...

One night, while tending bar, the bartender notices this hideous looking fella at the far end of the bar with several hot women around him. Finally, the bartender’s curiosity gets the best of him, and he walks down to where the ugly man is. The bartender says, “Please don’t get offended when I tell you this, but I couldn’t help noticing you have several beautiful women hanging all over you, and, forgive me, but you are not exactly the most handsome person I’ve ever seen. In fact, you’re quite ugly. Now, normally, I would think these ladies are attracted to you because of your money, but I can tell by the way you’re dressed and the fact that they are buying YOU drinks, it’s not the money. Tell me, sir, what is it about you that these women are so crazy about? ” The man paused a moment, licked his eyebrows, and said, “I haven’t the foggiest idea. ” One night, while tending bar, the bartender notices this hideous looking fella at the far end of the bar with more...

How can you tell the Irish fella in the hospital ward?
He's the one blowing the foam off of his bed pan.

Well, a couple months back there was this trial in the West Virginia courts. A man was being tried for fornicating with a sheep, since that's illegal an' all.
Anyway, the key witness was an old fella who was walking along the highway by the farm where the sheep was raised. The prosecutor asked the witness what he saw: "Well, I was walkin' along, and saw this sheep just'a eatin' grass. And then this fella walks up from behind the sheep, real quiet-like."
"And then what?" asked the prosecutor.
"Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close."
"And what happened after that?"
"Well," said the witness, "they sorta shook for a couple of minutes. THEN, afterwards, the sheep turned around... an' licked him!"
Just then one of the members of the jury leaned over to the jury member next to him and said, "You know... a good sheep'll do that."
Rainy WWW

A fella was in the market to buy some acreage. He found just what he was looking for, but it was a little expensive. During an inspection of the property, however, he found a hive of bees.

He told the owner that he was deathly afraid of bees, and there was no way he could consider this piece of land. The landowner assured him that the bees were completely harmless, but the buyer would have no part of it.

Finally, the landowner made an offer. The buyer would allow himself to be tied to a tree for an hour, nude, under the nest. So sure of the friendliness of his bees was the farmer that if ONE bee were to sting him, the farm would be his for free. The buyer thought it over and decided it was worth the risk.

An hour later, the farmer walked out to the tree and saw the poor buyer slumped over in his bindings. Fearing the worst, he ran up to him and asked him if he had been stung.

The city fella looked up and weakly said,' No, but doesn't that more...

Guess the following movie quotes. All movies were released between the years 1980 and 1989. Comedies, dramas, action, etc. Some are quite simple, and others are more difficult.

There are 37 items, followed by the answers at the bottom, so you may wish to save reading this for a less hectic portion of your day.

1) Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

2) We're on a mission from God.

3) People on' ludes should not drive.

4) This house is clean.

5) Shall we play a game?

6) Terrific!! I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.

7) Back off man, I'm a scientist.

8) That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.

9) I know a little German. He's sitting over there.

10) Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.

11) Excuse me, Dick, I mean Rich, will milk be more...