Flea Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you find where a flea has bitten you? Start from scratch!

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ("Jump!").
In a first stage of experiment he removed flea's leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly."
So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly."
Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly."
Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: "Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing"

What did one flea say to the other after a night out? Shall we walk home or take a dog?

What is a flea's favourite book? The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy!

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Flea!
Flea who?
Flea's a jolly good fellow! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Flea!
Flea who?
Flea forty five in a minute! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Flea!
Flea who?
Flea blind mice!

A flea died and went to Heaven. St. Peter met it at the gate and explained
that it could choose how it could spend the rest of eternity.
SP: "Have you thought about it? Do you know how you'd like to spend the rest
of eternity?"
Flea: "Yes St. Peter, I have thought about it, I'd like to spend the rest of
eternity on the back of a rich lady's dog."
SP: "So be it, it's done."
A few weeks later St. Peter was wondering about the flea and so he called.
SP: "Flea, how are you doing?"
Flea: "Oh St. Peter, I made a terrible mistake. This old broad washes her dog
two to three times a day, she perfumes it, and I'm nauseous and I have a
headache from the smell."
SP: "Well you know that you aren't supposed to get more than one choice on
how to spend the rest of eternity, but you are supposed to be happy.
Have you thought about what else you might like to do?"
Flea: "Oh yes more...

What is the difference between an elephant and a flea? An elephant can have fleas but a flea cant have elephants!