Fold Jokes / Recent Jokes

Order: Is each here? Does each have his opposite?
Chaos: I am here, but my opposite is you.
Order: Huh?
Evil: Don't let him bug ya'. We're here.
Truth: My opposite is not here.
Good: Is your opposite "Lies"?
Truth: My opposite is "Void". He couldn't make it.
Evil: snicker Figures!
Order: Agh! How are we going to seat five! This table is made for six!
Evil: Just take out his chair and move over. Sheesh!
Good: I have the cards.
Evil: I've got the chips.
Truth: I have the beer.
Chaos: I have the cards!
Order: Shut up.
...
Order: Whose deal is it?
Evil: Do ya' gotta ask that EVERY time?
Truth: It is Good's deal.
Good: OK, five card draw...uh, everything is wild.
Evil: How can anyone win if everything is wild?
Good: No ONE can win, but we all can call ourselves winners if...
Order: I like this game.
Evil: This is pointless.
Truth: It is time to deal.
Good: Here we go! more...

(Order): Is each here? Does each have his opposite?
(Chaos): I am here, but my opposite is you.
(Order): Huh?
(Evil): Don't let him bug ya'. We're here.
(Truth): My opposite is not here.
(Good): Is your opposite "Lies"?
(Truth): My opposite is "Void". He couldn't make it.
(Evil): )snicker( Figures!
(Order): Agh! How are we going to seat five! This table is made for six!
(Evil): Just take out his chair and move over. Sheesh!
(Good): I have the cards.
(Evil): I've got the chips.
(Truth): I have the beer.
(Chaos): I have the cards!
(Order): Shut up.
...
(Order): Whose deal is it?
(Evil): Do ya' gotta ask that EVERY time?
(Truth): It is Good's deal.
(Good): OK, five card draw... uh, everything is wild.
(Evil): How can anyone win if everything is wild?
(Good): No ONE can win, but we all can call ourselves winners if...
(Order): I like this game.
(Evil): more...

There once was a man who had a terrible love for baked beans. The problem was that everytime he ate them he got horrible gas.He met a wonderful woman and they fell in love. After dating for some time he asked her to marry him. She said yes but only under one condition, if he would stop eating beans. She couldn't stand the affect they made on him. Well, him loving her so much agreed.
A few years later on the man's birthday he was driving home from work early because his wife wanted to make a nice dinner for him. On his way home though the car broke down. So he called his wife from a pay phone and said he was going to be late. Well, on his way home he passed by a restaurant that was letting out the wonderful aroma of baked beans. He decided that if he had some he would be able to walk of the ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ended up ordering 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. So on his way home he was pooting and tooting the whole way there. By the time he got more...

There once was a man who when he married his wife he swore never to eat baked beans because things happened when he did. one day when he took a 5 mile walk after 2 miles he got very hungry. ahead of him was baked bean stand. he was so hungry he had to have some. when he was finished eating he got very hyper and started to fart. since he still had 3 miles to go he thought it would wear off.
when he stepped into his house his eyes were covered with a blind fold. "i have a surprise for you" said his wife. "okay he said" he sat down at the table when the phone rang. he than realized eh had to fart. he let out a little bit. than a little bit more. finally he let out all of it. when his wife came back she took off the blind fold and sitting in front of him were 12 guests.

Yesterday, I helped my mother-in-law get set up on email for the first time. She got frustrated from time to time. Upon reflection, I decided that frustration was perfectly understandable. Imagine trying to learn to write a letter for the first time...
Me: Ok, to write a letter, the first thing you need is a piece of paper and a pen.
Tarzan: What are those?
Me: Paper is flat stuff that is made from tree pulp, sort of like a very small blackboard. Pens are sticks that write, sort of like chalk but smaller and in darker colors.
Tarzan: Is this paper?
Me: Ah, yes, that is paper, but you don't want to write a letter on that, that's my paycheck.
Tarzan: Why can't I use this?
Me: Well, that's a representation of money that I... uh, never mind. Just don't write on that. Look, here's a piece of paper that you can write on.
Tarzan: What about a pen?
Me: Pens are like little sticks. Do you see anything on this desk that
looks
like a little stick? Uh, more...