Frank Jokes / Recent Jokes
U.S. Rep. Barney Frank has undergone minor surgery to repair a ruptured tendon in his left arm, his congressional office said Tuesday. So no hand jobs for a week.
Many people are unaware that Frank Sinatra was an ecologist. Once, he found out that the herds of animals in Africa were being forced off their native lands into game reserves where they were more apt to be eaten by their natural enemies due to the crowded conditions.These animals would congregate around lakes and other bodies of water, but had nowhere to run if they were attacked by their foes. This resulted in abnormal losses in the herds.Frank, upon finding out about this, donated a LOT of money to trying to find out where there may be some open land to put the animals so they wouldn't be so crowded. Frank's idea was to go to the watering holes and load the animals on large barges and take them to other lands and then set them free.In order to accomplish this, he had to finance his work through a best-selling song about it. We've all heard the song before. It starts out, "Start spreading the Gnus..." The title of the song was, of course, "New Ark, New Ark."
Two lawyers, Frank and Harry, meet for a drink. Frank says, "You know what happened? An angel was sent down to compile a list of the dishonest lawyers on earth. Six months later he dragged himself back to Heaven, exhausted. `Believe me,' he told God, `it'd be easier if I just made note of all of the honest lawyers on earth. In fact, I think I could do that in a weekend.' God said, `Fine.' Come Monday morning, the angel turned in his list and God said, `That's terrific. Now I think you should send all the lawyers on this list a note of congratulations.'"Frank pauses and sips his Scotch. Then he says, "There was a postscript to the angel's
note. You know what it was?" Harry says, "No." "Aha! So you didn't get one either!"
A guy goes to the pet store and asks for a cheap pet that he can take anywhere. The store owner tells him he happened to be lucky, because he had a talking centipede he could sell him for a good price. The guy buys the centipede and names him Frank.That night, the guy decides to go to the bar and wants to take Frank with him. "Frank! You wanna go to the bar?" No response. "Frank! You wanna go to the bar?" Still, nothing. One last time he tries; "Frank, I'm leaving without you!" Then he hears a tiny voice, "Just a damn minute, I'm putting my shoes on!"
Frank Sinatra, "Old Blue Eyes," has died. Frank will now be known as "Old Closed Eyes."
Old man frank goes and gets a loan from the bank to buy a high priced bull. A couple of days later the banker comes along and asks: "How is our bull doing?"
Frank says: "Our bull isn't doing to good. I got him out there in the pasture with a bunch of young cows and he don't want nothing to do with them".
Banker says: "You better call the vet."
Couple of days later banker comes along again. "How's our bull doing now."
Frank says: "Plenty damn good. He has done serviced all of my cows, jumped the fence and is working on the neighbors cows!"
Banker says, "Wow! What did the vet give him?"
Frank says: "Gave him some pills."
Banker says: "What kind of pills?"
Frank says: "I don't know but they tasted sort of like peppermint."
Experts say that although Frank Sinatra is dead, his act is still 150% moreentertaining than Frank Sinatra Jr.'s.