Frank Jokes / Recent Jokes

WASHINGTON D.C. - Following an emergency meeting Wednesday morning, Congress unanimously voted to excise Florida from the United States of America.
The move was a reaction to the confusion and irregularities in the state's voting numbers that have totally disrupted the 2000 Presidential election.
"This is the last straw," said Utah senator Orin Hatch. "First Elian Gonzales, now this."
Several congressmen told reporters the decision has been a long time in coming.
"We're all pretty much sick of Florida," said representative Barney Frank. "They've been a constant embarrassment for too long now." Added Frank, "They had Dan Marino for a while, but what have they done lately? Oh that's right, screw up our entire democracy. I forgot."
In a speech on the Senate floor, Massachusetts senator Ted Kennedy commented that the loss of Florida's sizable elderly population will free up billions of dollars in social security funds. more...

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home. ''Hello?'' says a little girl's voice. ''Hi, honey, it's Daddy,'' says Bob. ''Is Mommy near the phone?'' ''No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank.'' After a brief pause, Bob says, ''But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!'' ''Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!'' ''Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house.'' ''Okay, Daddy!'' A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. ''Well, I did what you said, Daddy.'' ''And what happened?'' ''Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went more...

Frank went to the Godfather one day and asked if job could be found for his nephew who was due to
arrive next week and stay with him until he gets settled.
"No problem," said the Godfather in his deep voice and then continued, "You are a good man to watch
for your relatives. Family is very important"
"Godfather, you should know ahead of time that the boy is deaf and dumb, though. But, he is very
smart," said Frank.
"That's okay," said the Godfather, "We'll give him a job as a bagman and he won't need to talk. You
are a good man Frank."
The boy had been working for about six months picking up numbers game receipts when the Godfather
called Frank into his office. Obviously very angry, he said, "That little scumbag nephew of yours has
been skimming from the collections. I figure he's stolen about $500, 000 by now and I want it back,
right now!"
Frank found his nephew more...

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.
"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank. "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze."
Matt replies, "And we weren't?"

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couple of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.
Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.
"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank., "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze."
Matt replies, "And we weren't?"

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.
"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank. "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!"
Matt replies, "What...and we weren't?"

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity."What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank."You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!"Matt replies, "What...and we weren't?"