Frank Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Hello?"
"Hi, honey, this is Daddy,". ... "Is your Mommy near
the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle
Frank,"
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But you haven't got
an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Oh Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with
Mommy, right now!"
"Uh, Okay, then...... here's what I want you do. Put
down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom
door and shout to Mommy and Uncle Frank that Daddy's
car's just pulled up outside the house."
"Okay, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the
phone. "Well, I
did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?" he asks.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no
clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped
over the rug and went flying out the front window more...
"Hello?" says a little girl's voice. "Hi, honey, it's daddy," says Bob, "is mummy near the phone?" "No, daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank." After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an uncle Frank, honey!" "Yes I have, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with mummy!" "Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to mummy and uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house." "Okay, daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, daddy." "And what happened?" "Well, mummy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead." "Oh my god... And what about uncle Frank?" "He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he more...
Doctor Jones was called to examine his friend Frank, who at sixty-four had married a woman less than half his age. The doctor noticed that she was an extremely attractive and voluptuously proportioned girl. After a thorough examination, he knew that the cause of his friend's illness was exhaustion. He wrote a prescription and was preparing to leave when the patient asked:
"Well, Doc, what's wrong with me? Am I overweight?" "No, Frank," answered the doctor with a sidelong glance at the buxom young bride, "overmatched."
Florida State football coach Bill Peterson: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." He also said, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Mike Tyson, about writer Wallace Matthews: "He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm not a recluse."
Weightlifting commentator Pat Glenn: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
Alan Minter: "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
Football coach Bill Peterson: "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Basketball player Jason Kidd: "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
Soccer coach Ron Greenwood: "I don't hold water with that theory."
Baseball player Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters: "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
Tennis more...
A man walks into the street and hails a taxi that is just passing by. "Perfect timing," he tells the driver. "You're just like Frank." "Who?" asks the cabbie. "Frank Fielding. He's a man who did everything right, all the time. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could have played golf with the pros. He sang like an opera tenor and you should have seen him dance." "Sounds like quite a guy," says the driver. "That's not the half of it. He had a memory like a computer. He could remember everyone's birthday. He knew all about wine, which dishes to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out." "Wow, what a man." "He knew how to treat a woman. His clothing was always immaculate, his shoes polished. He was the perfect man. No one could ever measure up to Frank." "Amazing. How did you meet him?" "Oh, I never more...
On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. “Would it be right, ” he asked, “for a person to profit from the mistakes of another? ”
“Absolutely not! ” replied the pastor, disappointed that Frank would even ask such a question.
“In that case, ” said the young man, “I wonder if you’d consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July. ”
Rep. Barney Frank was re-elected to his 15th term by the people of the 4th district of Massachusetts. Fortunately for Frank, most of the people in his district did not vote a "straight ticket."