Frog Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing.
The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and singing "Tuff Enuff" by the Fabulous Thunderbirds.
"That IS amazing!" says the bartender and gives the guy his free beer.
"If I show you something else amazing, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees, so the guy pulls out a small piano and a hamster and a frog.
Now the hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer. A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a princely sum, which the man agrees to.
"Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off that frog."
"Can you keep a secret?" asks the man. more...

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He
>is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the
>green.
>
>He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,
>"Ribbit 9 Iron." The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
>"Ribbit. 9 iron."
>
>He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts
>his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! he hits it 10
>inches from the cup. He is shocked!
>
>He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky
>frog, eh?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. Lucky frog."
>
>The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
>"What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood."
>
>The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. The man is
>befuddled and doesn't know what to say.
>
>By the end of the day, the man golfed more...

Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess
happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "I
was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me.
One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can
marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my
meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy
doing so."
That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't think so."

Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princesshappened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "Iwas once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me.One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we canmarry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare mymeals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happydoing so."That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't think so."

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I`ll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I`ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, more...

A true story:
The scene:
After a family meal one night, 3 generations of the family are sitting around
chatting. A 4 year old is sitting on her grandfather's knee.
4YO: "Grandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?"
G: "What?"
4YO: "Can you make a noise like a frog?"
G: "Why do you want me to make a noise like a frog?"
4YO: "Well, last night Daddy said that when you croak we can all go to
Disneyland."
Luckily the old man took the comment in good humor.

One day, a little frog was sitting in his pond looking around at home. He decided that it just wasn't as nice as he knew it could be and he decided to remodel to raise the value of his property and to live more comfortably. He called the local forest contractor and got an estimate for $5000. The little frog only had $2500 saved up so he decided to go to a bank to apply for a loan for the rest of the money. When he got to the bank, he hopped over to one of the tellers and said, "good morning, I would like to apply for a loan" the teller looked at the little frog and said, "you have to go speak to our loan specialist, Ms. Patty Mac, third office on your left". So the little frog hopped into Ms. Mac's office and jumped on to the desk and said, "good morning, I would like to apply for a loan". Patty looked at the little frog and said, "What will you be putting up as collateral?" The little frog was confused, not knowing what collateral was so Ms. more...