Fuck Jokes / Recent Jokes

i bought my wife a rocket for christmas "she says what the fuck do i want with a rocket"husband replies"well you wanted space now fuck off"

TO: All Employees FROM: Human Resources
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
TRY SAYING: That's more...

One day a boy gets a duck from his dad. His dad says son get as much money for this duck as possible and the boy says okay. The boy is walking down the street and this hooker says I will fuck you if you give me that duck so he says okay. He does so and she says, "You did such a fine job that I'll give you the duck back if you do it again. He does and continues his journey. He is walking down the street and his duck fly's out into the street and gets run over by an 18-wheeler. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry kid! Here's $10 for your duck." When the kid gets home his dad asked him what he got for the duck and the boy say's, "Great dad! I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and ten bucks for a fucked up duck."

TO: All Employees FROM: Human Resources
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
TRY SAYING: That's more...

TO: All Employees FROM: Human ResourcesIt has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this? TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What more...

This guy had a beautiful woman for a girl friend, but he was too ashamed to fuck her because of his small dick. So one day while they were at the drive-in movies, he decides that now was a good time to fuck her because she wouldn't be able to see his dick size. So, halfway through the movie, he unzips his pants, and pulls out his dick and sticks it in her hand. She than replied, "No thank you, I don't smoke"!!

lets go up stairs and fuck each other.shut up why . your my brother i dont care i wanna fuck someone ok i will suck your dick are you going to stick it in your vagina. maybye. this is fuckin great!!!