Fun List Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.
1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.
3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play more...
"Secrets of the F.B.I.," by Isadore Shut.
"Court Cases," by Nita Lawyer
"Planning a Surprise Party," by Al B. Darn
"The History of Rock and Roll" by Tristan Shout
"Are You a Liar?, " by I.M. Knott
"How to Lose Weight," by X.R. Sizemore
"Burglary Made Easy," by Jimmy DeLox
"Counterfeiting Expose," by E. Z. Money
You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
Your kid throws-up and you catch it.
Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.
You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.
You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"
You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.
You more...
1) Remove a beer coaster from your local bar.
2) Carefully split the beer coaster top and bottom.
3) Insert a 10 bill and reseal.
4) Return to bar.
5) Place beer coaster under glass.
6) Wait for the bar to get extremely busy.
7) Discuss in a VERY LOUD voice the adverts on TV and in the papers which says Brewery X have hidden 10 bills in their coasters.
8) Keep arguing about whether it's true or not until everyone in the bar knows what you're talking about. 9) Tear open some beer coasters; look depressed.
10) Partially tear open the one with the 10 bill in it.
11) Shout, "I've won! I've won", and wave the tenner still wedged in the beer coaster around
12) Watch every coaster in the bar get destroyed.
- In Temperance, Miss., you can't walk a dog without dressing it in diapers.
- In St. Louis, a law on the books makes it illegal to park your car without turning off the engine. This was to avoid scaring horses.
- In Kansas City, Kan., saying the name George Washington without adding the phrase "blessed be his name," can land you with a fine of up to fifty cents.
- In California, selling a gold piece without tooth marks in it is considered forgery.
- An old statute in Flint, Mich., compels dentists to offer a "slug of whiskey with no additional charge to said patient."
- In Manchester, England, an ancient law declares that if a young man develops a lisp, he must be inspected by a bishop to ensure that he isn't developing homosexual tendencies.
- The city of San Francisco holds a copyright on the name San Francisco. It is illegal to manufacture any item with the name without first getting permission more...