Gatekeeper Jokes

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret? Yes, the professor ansvered. When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not se it so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now. Well, said the gatekeeper. That is a very minor sin. You may enter. Thank you very much, Saint Peter, the professor ansvered. Im am not Saint Peter, said the gatekeeper. He is having his lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas.

As soon as Mrs. Jones arrived at the gates of heaven she sought her husband, who had died several years before.
"Excuse me," she said, approaching the gatekeeper, "but I'm looking for my husband. I wonder if you can help me."
"What is his name?" the gatekeeper inquired.
"Harry. .. Harry Jones," she replied.
The gatekeeper stroked his chin. "There are many here who have that name. What else can you tell me about him?"
Blurting out the first thing that came to mind, she said, "Well, the last thing he said before he died was that if I were ever unfaithful to him, he would turn in his grave."
"Ah!" said the gatekeeper, "you're looking for Pin-Wheel Harry!"

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: ‘Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret? ’ ‘Yes, ’ the professor ansvered. ‘When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not se it so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now. ’ ‘Well, ’ said the gatekeeper. ‘That is a very minor sin. You may enter. ’ ‘Thank you very much, Saint Peter, ’ the professor ansvered. ‘Im am not Saint Peter, ’ said the gatekeeper. ‘He is having his lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas. ’

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper:' Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?'' Yes,' the professor ansvered.' When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not se it so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now.'' Well,' said the gatekeeper.' That is a very minor sin. You may enter.'' Thank you very much, Saint Peter,' the professor ansvered.' Im am not Saint Peter,' said the gatekeeper.' He is having his lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas.'

Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven.
The gatekeeper at the gate to heaven says, ''There are too many people in heaven so you have to pass this quiz to get in.''
Forrest Gump says, ''Okay.''
The gatekeeper says, ''First question: What two days of the week begin with T?''
Gump replies, ''That's easy. Today and tommorrow.''
The gatekeeper says, ''Well, I didn't think of that so I'll give it to you.
Second question: How many seconds are in a year?''
Gump says, ''12, January 2nd, February 2nd...''
The gatekeeper says, ''That wasn't what I was thinking, but I'll give it to you.
Last question: What is God's first name?''
Gump replies, ''Howard.''
The gatekeeper says, ''How on earth did you get Howard?''
Gump says, ''It's common sense. Our father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.''