George Bush Jokes / Recent Jokes
President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The barman says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?" Bush says, "We're planning WW III." And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one beautiful blonde." The guy exclaimed, "A beautiful blonde? Why kill a beautiful blonde?" Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
Despite polls that overwhelmingly indicate the Democrats will win control of Congress in the coming elections, President Bush is predicting the Republicans will emerge victorious once again.
He also sees a swift and decisive victory in Iran, a prolonged period of Global Cooling, and the opening next year of GazaDisney.
Oh, and personal jetpacks by 2008.
The First Daughter plans to have a small family wedding on the Bush ranch in Crawford Texas. President Bush is expected to give away the bride, as part of a $20 billion arms deal with Saudi Arabia.
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,“You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to
sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?”Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?”Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein!” he says. “Welcome
to heaven!”The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, “Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?”Saint Peter says, “Go ahead.” Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few
strokes of chalk.Saint Peter claps. “Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!” he says. “Come on in!”
Then Saint Peter looks up more...
After the blunt announcement that the Bush administration's Iraq policy is "not working," the President tried to derail further criticism saying "wait, wait, listen to this..."
then he let loose with a quality multi-octave fart, which reverberated quite nicely on the flat leather chair. James Baker had a hard time not laughing, but the other guy was simply not amused.
In response to the heckling, Joe Biden shook his head, Nancy Pelosi scowled, and George Bush instinctively ducked.
George learned the hard way that it's never a good idea to pick his daughters up at the bar before last call.