Gilbert Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    On December 21, 2009 Gilbert Arenas allegedly brought firearms into the Verizon Center home of the Washington Wizards. Apparently the NBA made the right move changing the franchise name to Wizards from Bullets.

    Elton goes to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers the door.
    "Hi, is Gilbert home?"
    "No he went to the store."
    "Well, do you mind if I wait?"
    "No come in."
    They sit down and Elton says, "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts
    I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one".
    Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - it'a a
    hundred bucks, after all! She opens her robe and shows him one.

    He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table. They sit there
    a while longer and Elton says "They're so beautiful I gotta see the both of
    them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see both of them
    together."
    Again, Nora thinks about this, then decides what the hell and opens her robe
    to give Elton a nice long look. Elton thanks her and throws another 100
    bucks on the more...

    Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld has said that Gilbert Arenas will stay in Washington. Because his ankle bracelet beeps every time he tries to leave.

    Caption Contest:

    If this scene went Gilbert & Sullivan:
    Starts with palsied kid singing:
    "I'm a palsied kid at a table
    trying to eat a turkey
    But really I'm unable
    Right here in Albuquerque
    For my hands are so unstable
    and my mind's a little murkey
    Too bad it's not beef jerky"
    The Chorus:
    "Too bad it's not beef jerky
    too bad it's not beef jerky
    He's from Albuquerque
    In New Mex-i-co, New Mex-i-co
    trying to eat a turkey
    But he's just too herky-jerky
    Yes, he cannot eat a turkey
    'cause he's just too herky-jerky"
    And then, as with all good Gilbert & Sullivan, the bananas in the background start dancing and singing:
    "We're a bunch of bananas from Paraguay
    They said "Come to America" we said "No way!"
    But here we are and we must say
    You better eat us now or we turning black
    And once we do, we never get out credit back
    You better eat us now or more...

    Gilbert Arenas has opted out of the final year of his contract with the Washington Wizards. The three-time All-Star is an ideal pick up for any team in need of a good blogger.

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