Godmother Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.''Well, now,'' says the old lady, ''I guess I would like to be really rich.'' *** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.''And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess.'' *** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.''Your third wish?'' asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. ''Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?'' she asks. *** POOF *** There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, ''Bet you're sorry you had me neutered.''

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said:' Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?'
The Fairy Godmother replied:' Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?'

Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish.' I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.' Instantly her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned.

Cinderella said' Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!' The Fairy Godmother replied' It is the least I can do. What is your second wish?' more...

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears and promises to provide her with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m.
The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power! What was his name?"
"I can't more...

A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and
said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.
Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for her and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world. The fairy
godmother waved her wand and boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn and the fairy godmother assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart's desire.
He paused for a moment, then said, "Well, honestly, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy godmother picked up her wand and boom!
He was 90!!

Cinderella is now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the dead Prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: "I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Bob, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said, "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother." The Fairy Godmother replied more...

Cinderella REALLY wanted to go to Prince Charming's ball, but as you know the evil stepsisiers and stepmother will not let her. So they leave her all alone on the big night, cleaning the place.
"Oh, how I wish I could go!" Cinderella sighed.
No sooner had she said this than her Fairy Godmother appeared, holding a long, beautiful white dress.
"Here, god-child," the fairy said, "try this on."
So Cinderella puts the thing on, and it fits perfectly, except she notices some red drops on the white fabric. "Dammit" Cinderella said" of all the lousy nights to get my period!"
So the God mother presents her with a magic Tampon to solve the problem, but the tampon has a warning on it: "Please return to the house by midnight or the tampon will be turned into a pumpkin."
Cinderella puts it in her and goes to the Ball.
Meanwhile, the Fairy Godmother awaits Cinderella's return. 10 o'clock -11 o'clock -12 more...

Cinderella REALLY wanted to go to Prince Charming's ball, but as you know the evil stepsisiers and stepmother will not let her. So they leave her all alone on the big night, cleaning the place."Oh, how I wish I could go!" Cinderella sighed.No sooner had she said this than her Fairy Godmother appeared, holding a long, beautiful white dress."Here, god-child," the fairy said, "try this on."So Cinderella puts the thing on, and it fits perfectly, except she notices some red drops on the white fabric. "Dammit" Cinderella said" of all the lousy nights to get my period!"So the God mother presents her with a magic Tampon to solve the problem, but the tampon has a warning on it: "Please return to the house by midnight or the tampon will be turned into a pumpkin."Cinderella puts it in her and goes to the Ball.Meanwhile, the Fairy Godmother awaits Cinderella's return. 10 o'clock -11 o'clock -12 o'clock-1 o'clockFinally, at around 3 in more...