Goldfish Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole, when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced little youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, and I've just buried him here."
The neighbor was sad for the little tyke, but was puzzled by one thing.
"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, "That's because he's still inside your stupid cat."

A guy walks into a tavern. There's a horse tending the bar, and on the counter behind the horse is a goldfish bowl full of 5 dollar bills.
The guy asks the man next to him, "What the hell is going on?"
The man says, "We have a contest going. You put a 5 dollar bill in the goldfish bowl, and if you make the horse laugh, you win all the money!"
The guy goes behind the bar, puts a 5 dollar bill in the goldfish bowl, whispers something to the horse, and the horse cracks up. The guy takes all the money out of the bowl and leaves the bar.
A few months later, he walks into the tavern again. The horse is still tending bar, but now the goldfish bowl is filled with 10 dolalr bills.
The guy asks, "Well, what's the contest now?"
The same man answers, "You have to make the horse cry!"
The guy goes behind the bar, puts a 10 dollar bill in the goldfish bowl, and leads the horse out the back door.
A few minutes later, they walk more...

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the
fence. Interested in what the rosy-cheeked youngster was up to, he politely
asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just
buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't
it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth, and then replied, "That's because he's
inside your freakin' cat!"

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your @#$%&*@#$%&* cat."

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I''ve just buried him."

The neighbor was very concerned. "That''s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn''t it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That''s because he''s inside your fricking cat."

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor
peered over the fence.
Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he
politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up,
"and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a
goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's
because he's inside your stupid cat."