Gore Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.
Bill: "Why don`t I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy."
Hillary: "Well, why don`t you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy."
Al: "Why don`t you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy."
Tipper: "Why don`t we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy."
John Ashroff to President Bush: Sir, we have improved our security measures against Al Quida, Al Jeehad and Al Gore
Bush: Al Gore!! Is he a terrorist?
Ashroff: Yes Sir he is also aiming at white House
From modernhumorist.com
"One Hollywood exec said he wouldn't be surprised if the movie rights to 'the election of the century' were already being negotiated. 'It's got all the ingredients—a mysterious electoral college, weird tabulating procedures, missing ballots, lawsuits—as well as photogenic lead characters'."
- Variety
Uncountable
Dir. M. Night Shyamalan
In this supernatural thriller from the creator of "The Sixth Sense," an election is not what it seems. Gore (Bruce Willis) is haunted by the memory of losing Palm Beach County by a narrow margin. His son, Al Gore III (Brad Renfro) tells him, "I see missing ballots." An election law expert (Samuel L. Jackson) tries to find the truth. Please do not reveal the surprise ending (Gov. Carnahan is dead!).
How the Grinch Stole the Election
Dir. Ron Howard
Ralph Nader (Abe Vigoda) plots to steal away as many votes as possible from the gentle Gores in Goreville (Tennessee). more...
Al Gore and Bill Clinton are talking about premarital sex.
"The first time I slept with my wife was on our wedding night. So how about you, Bill?", says Al.
"I can't remember. What's you wife's maiden name again?"
Al Gore and George W. Bush go to a resteraunt to try to patch things up after the election. They're about to order when Tipper says to Dubya, "What are you having?"
Bush replies, "I wouldn't mind a quickie."
Mrs. Gore is outraged and says, "You rude man! Who do you think you are, Bill Clinton?"
Al leans over to Dubya and says, "George, I think it's actually pronounced 'quiche.'"
Al Gore and George W. Bush were seated for lunch in a Washington restaurant. The attractive waitress approached them to take their orders.
"I'll have a ham sandwich," said Gore.
"For you sir?" she asked Bush. "How about a quickie," Bush replied.
"Governor!", she exclaimed. "How rude, and to think, you're not even President yet!"
As she stormed off, Gore leaned over the table and whispered to Bush, "George, it's pronounced 'quiche'."
Al Gore's New Program...
Al Gore was entertaining Joe Leiberman and decided to show off his new home. Upon entering the bedroom, Joe noticed a very large wooden box with 5 empty beer cans and about $1500.00 in cash.
Out of curiosity, Joe asked ''AL, I see you're a beer drinker, I am too! you see, we DO have something in common''
With a condescending voice, Al quipped, '' yes, of course we do Joe''
Joe then asked '' Al, why the 5 empty cans and all that cash''
Al gladly told Joe about his new program. '' Joe, since last month, I have decided to turn a new leaf and become a more accountable person, while at the same time rewarding myself for my efforts. Whenever I tell a lie, I drink a beer and put the can in this box''
''That's really impressive'', Joe replied, ''only 5 beer cans in a whole month, but tell me, where did all that cash come from''?
Without missing a beat, Al responded, ''Whenever the box gets full of beer cans, I take it down to the recycling more...