Grace Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny and his family went to his Grandmother's house for dinner. Everyone was seated at the table as the food was being served.
As soon as Little Johnny received his plate, he began to dig in. "Johnny, please wait until we say grace," his mother scolded.
"I don't have to," Johnny replied.
"Yes, you do," insisted his mother. "You know we always say grace before eating at our house."
"Yes, but that's at our house," Johnny replied. "This is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"

A woman had a few guests over and when dinner was served she asked her child to say grace. "But, Mommy, I don't know what to say." the girl said. "Just say what you've heard Mommy say." The girl smiled and nodded then bowed her head and said, "Dear God, why did I invite all these people over?"

Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become -Hale Mary Fuller Grace.Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become -Polly-Warner-Cracker.3M and Goodyear merge to become -MMMGood.John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become -Deere Abi.Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become -Zip Audi Do Da.Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become -Honey I'm Home.Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become -Mine All Mine.Federal Express and UPS merge to become -FED UP.Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become - Fairwell Honeychild.3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become-3 Penney Opera.Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become- Knott NOW!

A Minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said, "Today, church, I am going to say a single word and you are
going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out, "Cross."
Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "The Old Rugged Cross."
The Pastor hollered out, "Grace."
The congregation began to sing, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."
The Pastor said, "Power."
The congregation sang, "There is Power in the Blood."
The Pastor said, "Sex."
The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything.
Suddenly, from the back of the church, a frail little 87 year-old grandmother stood up and, in a tiny quavering voice, began to
sing, more...

An old timer was bemoaning the standard of the game and kept recalling the famous names of the past.

'You know,' he-said to one of the young men,' if W. G. Grace were here today, he'd be regarded as a remarkable man.'

'You're right,' agreed the young man.' He'd be a hundred and fifty years old! '

There are many tales of W. G. Grace, a Intellectual personality not averse to bending the rules to suit his own ends.

On one occasion, he was guest player against a village team. Their fast bowler charged up and with his first ball uprooted Grace's middle stump. Grace ixed a piercing eye on him.

'A very good trial ball,' he said.' And now let us begin.'

One time, Grace was having no luck bowling against a stonewalling batsman. After each ball, Grace would say to the umpire:' I'll have him yet!'

Next ball, he hit the batsman on the pad. Grace turned to the umpire.
'What did I tell you?' he said.
'Out,' said the umpire.