Grace Jokes / Recent Jokes
In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become Mine, All Mine.
Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization for Women merge to become Knott NOW.
Mergers that may or may not make the world a funnier place:
There was a rumor that W. R. Grace Co. was going to buy the Fuller Brush Co. and Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with the Hale Business Systems. This would result in the new mega-corporate entity known as:' Hale Mary Fuller Grace.'
Don't forget the failed merger between Yahoo and Netscape....Net'n'yahoo.... (say it out loud) A great number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called. ... Fairwell Honeychild.
It was announced that Wurlitzer is merging with Xerox. They are going to market. .. reproductive organs.
There is a merger in the works involving Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called. .. Poly-Warner-Cracker.
Other Merger's we'd like to see:
3M & Goodyear.......................... mmmGood
John Deere & more...
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said, "Today, Church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out, "Cross." Immediately the congregation started singing in unison "The Old Rugged Cross."
The Pastor hollered out "Grace." The congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."
The Pastor said "Power." The congregation sang "There is Power in the Blood."
The Pastor said "Sex."
The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden way from in the back of the church a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing. .............. more...
Grace is the divine ability to cope with every circumstance.
A certain lady invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say grace?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the mother answered.
The little girl bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
On the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become Mine, All Mine.
Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization for Women merge to become Knott NOW.
Heard this on an NPR distinguished speaker lecture this afternoon:
This Christian was thrown into the ring with a lion. Terrified, he fell
on his knees and started praying. At the same time the lion dropped down
on it's knees and started praying too. The Christian, overjoyed, exclaimed,
"Thank God! Another Christian!" To which the lion replied, "I don't know
about you, but I'm saying Grace."